Sunday, December 30, 2018

Episode 43 - 52 Pick Up (1986)



Today we cover a movie as surprising as it is compelling. This film is based on an Elmore Leonard novel. In fact, it's based on the same one as earlier episode The Ambassador is! The production history behind this one is bizarre, being that the same company is even involved in it.

However, unlike that movie, this one had direct involvement from the author to create a picture that fits the Cannon mold while still striking a perfect chord for noir thriller fans.

As always, check out the episode for our full thoughts!

Randy's Score: 3/5
JD's Score: 4/5


Up Next: Murphy's Law!

Sunday, December 23, 2018

Episode 42 - The Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2 (1986)



In the '80s there were few genres as easily exploitable as horror. While action required a budget to blow things up and shoot people to pieces, horror merely required a few actors and a costume or puppet to make bank. This is why it is funny that Golan and Globus didn't actually invest all that much in the genre despite their penny-pinching ways.

And nowhere does that show more than here. After locking down horror master Tobe Hooper to a three picture deal, they had him make whatever he wanted with this sequel to the film that broke him. The result is not an '80s slasher film as you might expect, but a black comedy. Yes, you read that right.

But does it work? As always, check the episode to find out!

Randy's Score: 2/5
JD's Score: 2/5


Next: 52 Pick-Up!

Sunday, December 16, 2018

Non-Cannon ~ Episode 21 - The Texas Chainsaw Massacre (1974)



Bit of a curve-ball this week. We go back even further into the past to one of the films that started the current modern age of Horror cinema. That's right, it's The Texas Chainsaw Massacre. This is a movie that changed pretty much everything, and not in the best of ways. However, that is not the film's fault.

If you know much about our tastes you also know we're not all that big on slasher flicks. However, this film is quite a bit different and not all that similar to that subgenre. This is to its credit. So our take on this one might surprise you. Or it might not. Tune in to find out!

Randy's Score: 4/5
JD's Score: 4/5


Up Next: The Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2!

Sunday, December 9, 2018

Episode 41 - Avenging Force (1986)



A surprisingly bloody action flick from Cannon that almost starred Norris but instead has Dudikoff, Avenging Force is a decently fun time. It's bloody, intense, and has some good kills. It's about what you would expect from a Cannon action flick.

And that's also its weak point. Despite being a solid action film it doesn't really do anything particularly great to give it a push about good. That said, check out the episode to hear our full thoughts.

Randy's Score: 3/5
JD's Score: 3/5


Up Next: Non-Cannon!

Sunday, December 2, 2018

Episode 40 - Detective School Dropouts (1986)



A detective comedy from 1986 made by Cannon Films. Two bumbling private detectives find their way in the middle of a mob war. Hilarity ensues, or is supposed to. Unfortunately, it doesn't work. There is little that shouldn't work in a concept like this, and yet, nothing does. It's not funny, it's not clever, and it is monumentally slow. A total and monumental miss. Definitely skip this movie, but not our episode.

Apologies for the shorter episode this week. The movie just didn't merit much in the way of discussion.

Randy's Score: 1/5
JD's Score: 1/5


Up Next: Avenging Force!

Sunday, November 25, 2018

Episode 39 - Invaders From Mars (1986)



A remake that is fairly unnecessary, yet well done, Tobe Hooper's 1986 horror film is not the sort of movie made anymore. This is more or less a 1950s horror movie made in the 1980s featuring the sort of atmopshere, neighborhoods, and locations that don't actually exist anymore. It's a story of a child's nightmare and all that one might find scary.

As it is, the movie is not the most original, but it does have quite a bit of spirit to it. We enjoyed our watch of it, even though it ended up being one of the last movies Tobe Hooper made for a big studio. As always, find out our full thoughts above.

Randy's Score: 3/5
JD's Score: 4/5


Up Next: Detective School Dropouts!

Sunday, November 18, 2018

Non-Cannon ~ Episode 20 - Runaway (1984)



Coming out of nowhere we cover this 1984 science fiction cop not-quite-Cyber-Punk-really Tom Selleck flick written and directed by Michael Crichton. Yes, that Michael Crichton. This story is about a near future where robots are used for everyday tasks. However, they sometimes go rogue and become "Runaways" and certain cops are tasked with stopping them. And our movie centers on just those cops.

This film isn't quite what you would expect with a premise like that or the talent behind it. This is no action film, but more of a thriller. You would have to set your expectations accordingly. But we did enjoy what we saw. See our full thoughts in the episode above.

Randy's Score: 3/5
JD's Score: 3/5


Up Next: Invaders From Mars!

Sunday, November 11, 2018

Episode 38 - Thunder Run (1986)



Initially sold as a high speed chase stunt film, Thunder Run is not quite what its marketing would have you believe it is. What it is is a slow paced film that takes far too long to get going and isn't much in the way of exciting when it finally does. It also doesn't help that there is nothing to engage the viewer along the way.

I would recommend skipping this film, but not our episode. Find out out full thoughts above.

Randy's Score: 1/5
JD's Score: 1/5


Up next: Runaway!

Sunday, November 4, 2018

Episode 37 - Cobra (1986)



I've been waiting to get to this one. Cobra is a movie that separates the weak from the strong and the men from the manchildren. A pure testosterone fest thriller of shooting, chases, and over the top carnage, Cobra is the epitome of 1980s action film. Whether it is the best or not is up to interpretation, but it definitely covers all the bases. Feel the heat!

What did we think of this movie? Well, tune in to find out. Perhaps our scores will give you a hint.

Randy's Score: 4/5
JD's Score: 5/5


Up Next: Thunder Run!

Wednesday, October 31, 2018

Halloween Spectacular II! (Non-Cannon - Episode 19)



We're back again with another round of Halloween favorites! Same as last year, the Cannon Cruisers chat about a creepy franchise for an extended length of time. We hope you enjoyed that one because we're doing it again! Unlike the last podcast, however, we decided to cover two movies instead of three.

Which two? A Nightmare on Elm Street 1 and 3. Why those? You will have to listen and find out for yourself!


A Nightmare on Elm Street

Randy's Score: 4/5
JD's Score: 4/5



A Nightmare on Elm Street 3: The Dream Warriors

Randy's Score: 4/5
JD's Score: 4/5


Next time: Cobra!

Sunday, October 28, 2018

Episode 36 - Behind Enemy Lines (1986)



No, that title isn't wrong and neither is the poster. This is a film with a troubled production and release history and with names like that you can probably imagine why. It hasn't been fondly remembered or has any cult status, and it's for good reason.

The movie simply isn't good. There's no way to say it without dancing around the subject. Tune in to see why we felt why.

Randy's Score: 1/5
JD's Score: 2/5


Up Next: Halloween Spectacular

Sunday, October 21, 2018

Non-Cannon ~ Episode 18 - The Twilight Zone Movie (1983)



In a very season appropriate time, we take a look at one of the more infamous horror movies of the 1980s. This is anthology film with segments directed by John Landis, Steven Spielberg, Joe Dante, and George Miller. The cast is also filed with familiar faces from the time including Dan Akroyd, John Lithgow, and most infamously, Vic Morrow. In all honestly, this should have been a big hit.

But anyone who knows about the history behind this movie knows why that didn't happen, and why it ended up damaging so many careers and affected the film's quality on top of it. There's a reason it isn't talked about much.

Needless to say, of you want our full thoughts then listen to the full episode. The story of this movie is quite interesting.

Randy's Score: 4/5
JD's Score: 4/5


Up Next: Behind Enemy Lines

Sunday, October 14, 2018

Episode 35 - America 3000 (1986)



In a world where plot doesn't exist and characters just as forgotten, one company will make a nonsensical film that will become a cult classic. For some reason. In case you haven't figured it out, I am referring to Cannon's America 3000, hands down one of the worst films we've reviewed yet.

If you're wondering why I didn't mention the plot then listen to the episode to understand why. It's quite the flop of a movie.

Randy's Score: 1/5
JD's Score: 1/5


Up Next: Twilight Zone: The Movie!

Sunday, October 7, 2018

Episode 34 - Highlander (1986)



It's time for a quickening. That's right, on this edition of Cannon Cruisers, we are covering the action adventure classic, The Highlander. Starring Christopher Lambert, Sean Connery, and Clancy Brown, this is well known for a reason. Immortals, sword fights, and a kick butt soundtrack await you in this 1986 picture.

But what did we think of it? You might be surprised. Or maybe not.

Randy's Score: 5/5
JD's Score: 5/5


Up Next: America 3000

Sunday, September 30, 2018

Episode 33 - The Delta Force (1986)


Welcome back for season 3!

Norris is back. One of Cannon's biggest films, The Delta Force was quite the hit back in the day. Featuring a plot about a plane hijacked for ransom by terrorists, this part-thriller part-action film is supercharged from start to finish. It's not every day you see someone blow terrorists up with motorcycle rockets.

Oddly enough, we were split on this movie. Why? Well, you'll have to tune in and find out. I'm honestly not sure myself.

Randy's Score: 1/5
JD's Score: 3/5


Up next: Highlander

Sunday, September 9, 2018

Summer Special #8 - Midnight Run (1991) [Non-Cannon ~ Episode 17]



One of the biggest surprises on the show to date. Midnight Run is an action comedy movie most similar to a film like Plane, Trains, and Automobiles, except in a buddy cop framework. Not only is it funny, but it's full of great action as well. Written by the man behind Beverly Hills Cop, it's no wonder it's such a surprise. We both agreed on how good this was.

And that is it for out summer special! After this we will be off for two weeks while we get a head on season 3! It's sure to be a good one. See you there!

Randy's Score: 5/5
JD's Score: 5/5


Up next: The Delta Force

Sunday, September 2, 2018

Summer Special #7 - Toy Soldiers (1991) [Non-Cannon ~ Episode 16]



Wil Wheaton dies.

Randy's Score: 5/5
JD's Score: 5/5







...


Okay, but seriously, Toy Soldiers is a movie I didn't even know existed. Starring Sean Astin, Louis Gossett Jr. and, yes, Wil Wheaton, this is about a boy's boarding school invaded by terrorists who wish to use them for ransom in order to get a prisoner released from prison. Part teen movie, part action movie, it is a bit difficult to tell who this is aimed at. Nonetheless, it is solid entertainment. Listen to the full episode to get our impressions.

Randy's Score: 4/5
JD's Score: 4/5


Next episode: Summer Special finale!

Sunday, August 26, 2018

Summer Special #6 - Time After Time (1979) [Non-Cannon ~ Episode 15]



We went back far for this one. A time travel story starring Malcolm McDowell, David Warner, and Mary Steenburgen, this is part fish out of water story, part romantic comedy, and part thriller, all while wrapped in a very interesting time travel plot. Jack the Ripper escapes in a time machine to 1979 and H.G. Wells (Yes, that one) follows to put a stop to him.

Needless to say, Randy and I both enjoyed this quite a lot. But if you want to see out full thoughts check out the full episode above.

Randy's Score: 5/5
JD's Score: 5/5


Up next: Toy Soldiers

Sunday, August 19, 2018

Summer Special #5 - Nemesis (1992) [Non-Cannon ~ Episode 14]



Nemesis was a movie I remember seeing many times at the rental store as kid (I remember that art!) but never got around to seeing. Being that I enjoy cyberpunk from that era (as long as it's not in prose form) I thought this would be one to jump on. It's a bit different for summer fare, but an action film always works for the season-- even if it's cyberpunk and darker in tone. It is even directed by Albert Pyun, a man who made some of the strangest films of the era. I simply had to include this here for our special.

Unfortunately, despite a strong world and good art design, there are quite a few aspects that hold it back from being as good as it could be. Find out why in the episode above.

Randy's Score: 2/5
JD's Score: 3/5


Up Next: Time After Time

Sunday, August 12, 2018

Summer Special #4 - Robot Jox (1990) [Non-Cannon ~ Episode 13]



Going back to 1990, here's a strange mecha movie from the author of the Forever War. This was one I had never even heard of until Randy brought it up one day. It is such an 80s concept for a film that simply had to exist, and did.

In the future, 50 years after a nuclear war, disputes are solved via mecha battles between opposing parties. However, one side has been winning a lot recently, and that may be because there is a traitor among the other's ranks. And so begins this post-apocalyptic sports movie with giant robots.

Unfortunately, it's not as good as it sounds. Tune into the full episode to find out why.

Randy's Score: 3/5
JD's Score: 2/5


Up Next: Nemesis

Sunday, August 5, 2018

Why the '80s?



First, I apologize for the lack of an episode last week and no real one this week. My partner in crime has had a bunch of real life issues, preventing us from making episodes and it put us behind schedule. That's life, I suppose. So this week I decided to write a post for you instead, just like the ones I write on my blog.

A big question that hovers over Cannon Cruisers like the specter of death over Keith Richards is why exactly are we doing this? Why this podcast? Why Cannon Cruisers?

Of course, I've talked about the reason we chose Cannon Films specifically to center our project around. It was mostly out of hunger. Randy and I wanted to do something different, and together, and this felt like the best idea for us. Cannon Films epitomized a whole era of film and entertainment, one that was very influential, and yet one that not only doesn't exist anymore, but its being actively buried.

You see, much of 1980s cinema came after the most nihilistic decade in film in which hopelessness, perversion, and subversion, ruled the day. Audiences didn't respond all that well to '70s film, as most people prefer stories that make them feel better about their day and place in the universe as opposed to being made "to think" or being dragged through the muck. It was not the best time for entertainment. The proof of that assertion would be the #1 film of the 1970s and still one of of the highest grossing films of all-time. That would be the original Star Wars.

In 1977 no one had seen anything like Star Wars in nearly 40 years back when the pulps were still at their peak. It was a pure throwback. The film was a black and white morality Space Opera with mystical monks, laser swords, spaceships, romance, and breathtaking new special effects. Not only did it take audiences by surprise, but it became a phenomenon that not only changed film, but reinvigorated dying mediums of the time like comics, television, and even inspired the newly rising video game industry. Other countries across the world were even affected, as Japan's video game, anime, and manga, industries paid close attention, as well. Storytelling had been permanently dosed with pulp influence. In other words, Star Wars changed everything by unapologetically taking its genre back to its roots.

And other filmmakers jumped on this by the time the '80s rolled around. Who wouldn't want to cash in on such a success? Exciting thrillers, family films, adventure pictures, wacky comedies, action flicks, sword and sorcery, space opera, and horror all took off big and captured the imagination of millions. All of this based on pulp stories. Whereas these tales were dead in the shrinking literary world (still shrinking, I might add!) every other medium took these abandoned genres and gave them to the audience who had been missing them for decades, or weren't alive when they were first around. It was a renaissance of adventure and romance. The industry had gone back to its roots and was thriving. Studios like Cannon lived in such an atmosphere.

Star Wars gave the audience exactly what it needed, and wanted. In the process, it ended up completely shaping the decade to come. Its influence still lingers over pop culture today, and has never gone away. The 1980s became the best decade in pop culture since the 1930s precisely because it remembered what worked, embraced it, and handed it to a new generation. As a consequence, 80s pop culture is still around to this day, while other decades fell off and have been almost entirely forgotten. There wasn't even ever a nostalgia movement for the '70s like there was for other decades like the 50s or 60s. It has just been quietly filed away and left in the dustbin. No real loss, honestly.

However, the current climate is not so good. We're swimming in bland, safe, and yet also "gritty" remakes and reboots. There is no new blood, or ideas. Old franchises, like Star Wars, have abandoned what audiences first came to it for and has been seeing a drop and profits every year since Disney took control. There are no fresh, exciting adventure stories from the mainstream anymore. They've all been muddied up or left to dry out in the hot sun, leaving it a hollow husk reminder of what once was. Hollywood has nothing to offer audiences anymore.

Cannon Cruisers exists because I wanted to rediscover what it was like when the climate was friendlier to exciting ideas and classic concepts, and also to rediscover the last time pop culture actually felt fresh and vibrant. The 1980s was the last time that was the case, and Cannon Films is the best example to show just what it was like at the time. It felt like the perfect place to start.

Sure, one could make the argument that the 1990s were a good decade for pop culture, but not if you look at it closely enough. Every single part of the '90s that were good had one foot in the '80s, and those that didn't were dead and forgotten before the decade was over. 1997 in particular was a black hole of entertainment where much was killed off and what was new has not stood the test of time. It has only gotten worst in the decades since. Heck, the dreary and edgy '00s still remain a punchline to many jokes. The '10s were largely an extension of that. Pop culture more or less died by this time.

But it's not all so bad. The underground movement in the '10s has been a very exciting place to hang out. Literary movements such as PulpRev and Superversive are dedicated to doing what the dying traditional publishers refuse to do: bringing back the adventure and optimism long since thought lost. Indie comics are beginning to take root via crowdfunding while the larger companies hemorrhage money after hiring abysmal talent. Even music has seen a rise in genres like Retrowave to clear out the bad taste of modern pop music well past its expiration date. Independent film is also on the way, but it's taken its time. Even anime has seen college students cobble together funds to create original projects that look far fresher than what their industry is putting out.

For the first time since the '90s went out like a whimper, it looks as if storytelling is on its way back.

And that's a lot of the reason I'm doing Cannon Cruisers.

I want to see what exactly we did lose along the way. I want to see what we can improve. I want to see what we can learn from. Most of all, I want to be entertained. There's a lot from that era that has been abandoned, and not all for the better, to the extent that even weaker projects from that time still have more lessons to teach than the latest Hollywood "think-piece" box office bomb. Cannon, of all companies, actually does still have much to teach us.

It's also exciting to be involved in the entertainment world right now. The growth of so much underground and independent work is like finding buried treasure almost every single day. For the first time in a long time I actually get excited when looking up a new find. So this is the perfect time to rediscover the last peak in pop culture, when it felt like everyone was on the same page, and how we can apply it today. That is entertaining in its own right.

If you haven't been keeping up with this site, now is the time. We have a few more Summer Special movies to get through, then we'll be moving right into season 3 and Cannon's 1986: their biggest year. So join us as we head into our own golden age!

It's bound to be a lot of fun.

Sunday, July 22, 2018

Summer Special #3 - The Rescue (1988) [Non-Cannon ~ Episode 12]



Continuing on recent trends we watch a movie that was a favorite of Randy's when he was a child. A team of Navy SEALS disappear on a mission near North Korea and when politicians forgo rescuing them, their kids get together and form a plan on their own to find them. But such a rescue is suicidal. Or is it?

This movie is fairly unknown, never even having been rereleased on DVD, but it is hard to see why. It is a fun family adventure movie with quite a lot of peril and no blood. Considering the subject matter, that is impressive.

Randy's Score: 3/5
JD's Score: 3/5


Up Next: Robot Jox

Sunday, July 15, 2018

Summer Special #2 - The Gate (1987) [Non-Cannon ~ Episode 11]



This week we talk about a little known (family?) horror movie called The Gate. A low budget film with surprisingly good special effects, it holds up quite well. This was one we had completely missed, and being that it is right up the alley as the type of summer film we enjoy, it was a no-brainer to start with.

However, it's not perfect, for reasons we go into in the episode. Despite our issues, it remains a solid film well worth your time.

Randy's Score: 3/5
JD's Score: 3/5


Up Next: The Rescue

Sunday, July 8, 2018

Summer Special #1 - The Miami Connection (1987) [Non-Cannon ~ Episode 10]



For the next few weeks, Cannon Cruisers are going to be doing a bit of a side project. We're going to be covering a few Non-Cannon films that we've never got around to that are a bit out of the way. We'll be continuing with regular episodes afterwards, but for now enjoy the summer festivities! This week we start with the cult classic The Miami Connection.

This was one I had heard about third-hand, but never thought I could see. It was a rarity on VHS and went unreleased on DVD for years afterwards. Then Drafthouse Films re-released this on Blu-Ray with a HD remaster for a tenner, and I had no excuse. I'm a big fan of buddy movies and action flicks, and this one is supposed to be a cult classic on top of it. So how can I lose?

Turns out that I didn't. Full impressions in the episode.

Randy's Score: 4/5
JD's Score: 4/5


Up Next: The Gate

Sunday, July 1, 2018

Episode 32 - Season 02 Wrap-Up



This season was a might bit shorter than the last, but we ended up packing the most 1985 Cannon content we could in one season. It was a wild ride, so enjoy our rambling, unedited thoughts on everything season 2.

Season 3 will cover 1986 in Cannon's history, which is probably their most important with the most high profile releases in the studio's history. It is also the year the wheels began to come off. But w'll be to that when we get to it. For now, please enjoy this episode.

That's a wrap on season 2. It's been fun, and we're just getting started! We promise that season 3 will be even better.


Up Next: The Miami Connection

Sunday, June 24, 2018

Episode 31 - Runaway Train (1985)



For our last movie of the season we cover the hidden gem known as Runaway Train. Two convicts board a train after escaping  prison and go on a high speed escape as they are pursued by an obsessed warden, guided by inept railway officials, and must keep safe the lone passenger aboard as they barrel onward to certain death. Be ready for thrills and excitement, because you will get plenty of both here.

Runaway Train is a Cannon film through and through. There is violence. There is action. There is over the top insanity. But it's all masterfully done. Based on a screenplay by Akira Kurosawa, Runaway Train is a film that thrills and entertains, but also manages to have a lot under the hood a the same time. There is quite a bit to discuss. To hear our full thoughts be sure to tune in above. You won't regret it.

This is the best Cannon film we've seen so far.

Randy's Score: 5/5
JD's Score: 5/5


Up Next: Season 2 recap!

Sunday, June 17, 2018

Non-Cannon ~ Episode 9 - The Adventures of Buckaroo Banzai Across the 8th Dimension (1984)



This was a curveball. The two of us had seen a lot of movies from this decade, but Buckaroo Banzai is one we'd always missed out on. It's a satire and homage to old Doc Savage style pulp stories with quite a star-studded cast and a lot of hype behind it. Surely this is the exact type of movie we would go for.

Well, yes and no.

To find out exactly what we thought, check out the episode above!

Randy's Score: 3/5
JD's Score: 3/5


Up Next: Runaway Train

Sunday, June 10, 2018

Episode 30 - Fool For Love (1985)



Based on a play by Sam Shepard (who also stars), Fool For Love is about an arguing couple who come to a motel after a large scale blow out and end up discussing deep seated issues that reveal themselves as the story progresses. This soon includes two other characters seemingly unrelated to the events that pop in to give context.

Not the usual Cannon fare, Fool For Love tries something a bit different. Here they take a play and transpose it to the big screen. Do they succeed? Well, tune in to find out.

Randy's Score: 3/5
JD's Score: 2/5


Up Next: The Adventures of Buckaroo Banzai Across the 8th Dimension

Sunday, June 3, 2018

Episode 29 - King Solomon's Mines (1985)



Cannon tries their hand an old school adventure film! Based on the H. Rider Haggard book of the same name (which turned 100 at the time of the film's release) and starring Richard Chamberlain and Sharon Stone, this had everything going for it.

Unfortunately, it just doesn't quite come together. For reasons mentioned in the episode, this adaption misses the mark. This is a shame with the cast it has and the material it is based. But it isn't a total loss. Find out how in the episode above!

Randy's Score: 2/5
JD's Score: 2/5


Up Next: Fool For Love

Sunday, May 27, 2018

Episode 28 - Death Wish 3 (1985)



We return to the world of Paul Kersey for the third time. In this entry, our main character deals with what could only be described as the end of the world. Kersey's friend is murdered by an insane gang leader and the two go to war against each other. It's exactly what you would expect from Death Wish.

This is both the strength and the weakness of Death Wish 3. It was clear this was meant to be the culmination of the decay of civiliation that director Michael Winner envisioned, but the problem is that it is still too grounded in reality to be effective when it goes over the top. This film needs to be Bronson in Fist of the North Star but its tone and weak script hold it back from its potential.

That said, it was not an unpleasant watch. See the full episode for our thoughts.

Randy's Score: 2/5
JD's Score: 3/5


Up Next: King Solomon's Mines

Sunday, May 20, 2018

Non-Cannon ~ Episode 8 - The Challenge (1982)



This week we take a detour into a little known film starring Scott Glenn and Toshiro Mifune. A family drama with plenty of action and thrills, this is a film that could have only been made in the 1980s. And it is unlike anything else we've covered.

Follow a struggling American boxer as he is pulled into a Japanese family's squabbles and has to learn how to be one of them or else he dies. Meanwhile, the traditional family does battle with progress as it tries to stay together.

As said earlier, this was not like the other movies we've watched, but it was a marvelous treat and gave a good bit to talk about. Check out the episode to learn more.

Randy's Score: 4/5
JD's Score: 4/5


Up Next: Death Wish 3

Sunday, May 13, 2018

Episode 27 - Invasion USA (1985)



It's time for more Norris!

This time we deal with the plot of a ruthless invasion to sow discord across the USA! Only one man can stop the brutal plot before more are killed. But will he be enough? Strap in as Matt Hunter stalks those who would kill the innocent for their own means.

As you can tell, there's not much plot to be had with this one. But that's okay. What it succeeds at is being a simple popcorn movie with much in the way of action and thrills. It also contains one of the best one-liners in action movie history... actually, it has several of them.

Watch the full episode for full impressions!

Randy's Score: 3/5
JD's Score: 4/5


Up Next: The Challenge

Sunday, May 6, 2018

Episode 26 - Rappin' (1985)



What is considered the end of the unofficial Breakin' trilogy, Rappin' stars Mario Van Peebles as an ex-con with a gift for the gab. Ostensibly a musical, Rappin' shows the rise of a rapper as he also fights to protect his neighborhood from land developers.

As you can tell, this film has a lot in common with the last Breakin' film in its plot, but thankfully the result isn't anywhere near as dismal. Not a good film, but not a disaster, either. Check out our full thoughts above.

Randy's Score: 2/5
JD's Score: 2/5


Up Next: Invasion USA

Sunday, April 29, 2018

Episode 25 - American Ninja (1985)



Back to the ninjas. After Cannon's ninja anthology trilogy they created a brand new series of films starting with this one. American Ninja was one of their biggest hits.

These films aren't quite as off the wall as those ones could get, and they're missing Sho Kosugi, but they were a surprising hit for Cannon back in the day. Especially on home video where they were king.

But how does the original stack up? Tune in and find out!

Randy's Score: 3/5
JD's Score: 5/5


Up next: Rappin'

Sunday, April 22, 2018

Non-Cannon ~ Episode 7 - Escape From New York (1981)



Bet you didn't expect this one, huh?

If you know anything about '80s movies, action films, or any bit of pop culture, then you are perfectly aware of what this movie is and what it's about. But some have never seen it, so here's the skinny, cat: In the near-future, a convict gets sent to the prison island of New York and must rescue the president within hour, or he will die. That's all you're getting out of this summary, so listen the episode!

And make sure to watch this movie! It will help give you an idea of why '80s cinema still has its fans today. It also holds up exceedingly well.

But what did we think? You might be surprised at our thoughts on this classic. Listen in, as always, for our full analysis.

Randy's Score: 5/5
JD's Score: 5/5


Up Next: American Ninja

Sunday, April 15, 2018

Episode 24 - Thunder Alley (1985)



In the tradition of the band movie comes this entry from Cannon. Join these ragtag musicians as they rise up from the bar scene toward stardom as temptations such as drugs and women lure them astray. Basically, if you've ever seen a band movie then you know where this is going. There aren't very many wrinkles in this one.

That said, it's a pleasant enough watch that is enjoyable on its own. If you like a solid band film then this might be for you. Tune in to listen to our full thoughts on this obscure music film.

Randy's Score: 3/5
JD's Score: 3/5


Up Next: Escape From New York

Sunday, April 8, 2018

Episode 23 - Lifeforce (1985)



Today we look at a classic. Well, it's not so much a classic as a very off and divisive film. Lifeforce is a film about space vampires who come to steal the . . . life force . . . of humans. Valiant and fallible humans battle with seemingly impossible odds against monsters far beyond what they know. What we have here is a science fiction, fantasy, and horror hybrid unlike anything else. Director Tobe Hooper really put out something original here.

We had a bit of a hard time watching this episode for technical reasons, so we would have to get back to it to solidify our opinion, but we came out a bit split on this. Tune in to see what we thought!

Randy's Score: 2/5
JD's Score: 4/5


Up Next: Thunder Alley

Sunday, April 1, 2018

Episode 22 - Hot Chili (1985)

1985 film Hot Chili.jpg

This week we cover another raunchy teen comedy. If you've seen one of these you've seen a hundred of them. The difference is that this one has far better pacing than the other ones we covered so far. There are a few good gags and if you wanted to watch one of these you could do a lot worse.

That said, it's still a teen comedy from the '80s. Nothing is going to make you like it if you just don't like this genre.

Randy's Score: 2/5
JD's Score: 3/5


Up Next: Lifeforce!

Sunday, March 25, 2018

Non-Cannon ~ Episode 6 - The Ice Pirates (1984)



This time we look at a cult favorite sword and planet adventure called The Ice Pirates. This part send-up/part homage to the movies and stories Star Wars influenced was unique for its time and is practically unknown now. The comedy might not always hit, but the two of us still found a movie well worth watching.

Tune in to see what we thought of it!

Randy's Score: 3/5
JD's Score: 3/5


Up Next: Hot Chili!

Sunday, March 18, 2018

Episode 21 - Missing in Action 2: The Beginning (1985)



Now we come to the next Norris film from Cannon. This is, unfortunately, one of his lesser efforts. The story behind the first two MIA films is well known. They were filmed back to back, but the second one was so much better than the first that they decided to put it out first so that there would be a market for the second one to release in. It turned out to be a great idea as the original movie became a hit and one of Norris' best known films.

But the second and original film does not fare anywhere near as well. To find out just why, watch the episode.

Suffice to say, there are far better Chuck Norris movies to spend your time on than this one.

Randy's Score: 1/5
JD's Score: 2/5


Up Next: The Ice Pirates!

Sunday, March 11, 2018

Episode 20 - The Ambassador (1984)



This week we take a look at a political thriller starring Robert Mitchum, Rock Hudson, and several other older (for the time period) actors. Unfortunately, the movie wastes a good set up and plot idea with a lot of meandering followed by an ending that is just too out there to work. This was based on a novel by Elmore Leonard, but very loosely. It can definitely be seen in the creakiness of the story.

It is a shame because there are some good aspects to this film. Listen to the episode to hear them and our other thoughts.

As a whole, however, we just didn't go for it.

Randy's Score: 2/5
JD's Score: 2/5


Next week: Missing in Action 2: The Beginning

Sunday, March 4, 2018

Episode 19 - Hot Resort (1985)



Welcome back to the Cannon Cruisers! We hope you enjoyed February and are ready for more 80s goodness! This season will cover 1985, the year Cannon began to get its groove.

Unfortunately, we start season 2 with a fairly boring comedy from 1985 entitled "Hot Resort" starring Bronson Pinchot. It is a better comedy and more consistent than older films like Last American Virgin, but it is still horrifically dull. There are much better (and worse!) Cannon films to waste your time with.

Randy's Score: 2/5
JD's Score: 2/5


Up next: The Ambassador

Tuesday, February 20, 2018

Season 2 Teaser

With just under two weeks to go the two of us figured you all would enjoy a small teaser. So here you go and we'll see you in March!


Sunday, January 28, 2018

Episode 18 - Season 01 Wrap-Up



And with this episode we reach the end of our first season.

This has been an interesting project for us so far. We started Cannon Cruisers purely for a project that celebrated a forgotten era of film and ended up surprised at what we ran into. Movies were a very different beast back in the 1980s than they are now. As pieces of pure entertainment, good or bad, there was very little about this season that wasn't fun to do on a least some level.

We ended up seeing a lot of different films which helped put this time period in perspective. Season ended up covering Cannon's genre films from 1980 to 1984, almost half the decade. This was because Cannon mostly focused on re-releasing foreign films for much of this time or co-producing with other studios while having little involvement themselves. But future seasons should be much different. As of season 2 we'll be covering each year in a season until we reach then end of the '80s. As you can imagine, this means there will be many more movies to cover.

And yes, this is confirmation that Cannon Cruisers will be continuing. Season 2 should begin in March after a quick break and catch up on other projects we are working on.

But until then we leave you with our season wrap up episode where we ramble unedited for an hour and say a lot of things we probably regretted later.

Enjoy, and we'll see you in season 2!

Sunday, January 21, 2018

Episode 17 - Breakin' 2: Electric Boogaloo (1984)



The original Breakin' was a surprise hit for Cannon. No one expected it to be that big, and yet it was a phenom. There was nothing particularly great about the film. It was a dance picture with a lot of charm and spirit and was a guilty pleasure for many. But it was also a surprise hit, being one of Cannon's most profitable movies. This led to a sequel being cranked out remarkably fast to capitalize on their success. Unfortunately, the result of striking when the iron was hot lead to this film.

While the original was unremarkable and yet absorbing, this film is an objective failure on every front. The plot is missing, the dancing is ridiculous, and the acting is even worse. Breakin' 2 is everything a sequel shouldn't be, and well deserves the reputation it has.

To find out our full thoughts, check out the episode above. Needless to say, we hated it.

Randy's Score: 1/5
JD's Score: 1/5


Up Next: Season 01 Wrap-Up!

Sunday, January 14, 2018

Non-Cannon ~ Episode 5 - Radioactive Dreams (1985)


This week we decide to watch a very underrated film that is not even out on DVD or Blu-Ray in Region 1. This is the Noir/Comedy/Post-Apocalyptic genre pic named Radioactive Dreams directed by Albert Pyun.

A fever dream of a film, this is quite unique and original for its time and manages to hold up splendidly. Of all the films we have reviewed so far, this might be the one the both of us have agreed on the most as to its high quality. If you have not seen this one and are a fan of '80s films then you are missing out. This is a great one.

And it is also our final Non-Cannon film for Season 1!

Randy's Score: 4/5
JD's Score: 4/5


Up Next: Breakin' 2: Electric Boogaloo

Sunday, January 7, 2018

Episode 16 - Missing In Action (1984)



Here we are. It's Norris time.

The main main stars in his first Cannon film as Col. James Braddock, a Vietnam Veteran with unfinished business. Lots of action and mayhem ensue.

This is a simple film with a simple goal, and it takes a few watches to settle in, but once MIA clicks, it clicks hard. While Randy enjoyed it well enough, JD liked it enough to give it his first perfect score for an official Cannon movie. This story of a man who lost it all and fights to get it back simply resonated for him too much to sit on.

To hear our full thoughts, be sure to listen!

Randy's Score: 3/5
JD's Score: 5/5


Up Next: Non-Cannon: Radioactive Dreams!