Episode 56 ~ Batteries Not Included (1987)

Here's one we've been trying to get to for awhile. Part Spielberg, part family friendly, part whimsy, with all the elements of the era you know so well. A movie once very well known, it has fallen hard into obscurity over the years. Why is that?

Actually,, there is a bit of a reason. While no turkey or masterpiece, there is a solid film in here worthy of discussion. However, there is a very good reason this one has slipped between the cracks. Find out why in today's episode!

Randy's Score: 3/5

JD's Score: 3/5

Spotify link here!

Up Next: Real Genius!

Episode 54 ~ Amanda & the Alien (1995)

I'm not even sure how to talk about this weird example of a movie. Originally a TV flick, it has a bit of an infamous reputation, especially in regards to how 1995 it is. All the tropes are there, good and bad, and it makes this one a strange one to watch today.

Though not quite as bonkers as Tammy and the T. Rex, it's definitely of that same era. Certainly not for younger audiences, but that doesn't mean it doesn't have its charms. One just might disagree that they are charms to begin with . . .

Randy's Score: 3/5

JD's Score: 3/5

Spotify link here!

Up next: VFW!

Episode 53 ~ Short Circuit (1986)

We finally did it. After years of digging through the more obscure pictures to float about the entertainment landscape, we finally hit on one we somehow avoided. We didn't avoid it for any real reason, it just slid through the cracks.

Today we cover 1986's Short Circuit and discover just how alive Johnny 5 really is. (And we learn the famous quote is not even from this movie!)

Have yourself a Happy Easter and we will see you next week!

Randy's Score: 4/5

JD's Score: 4/5

Spotify link here!

Up Next: Amanda & the Alien!

Episode 52 ~ The Skateboard Kid 2 (1994)

Yes, there's a sequel. Yes, we covered it. Yes, it's worse.

Find out just what we were thinking in today's episode to our least listened to episode by far! No joke, I did not know these movies were this disliked when I chose to watch them. Oh well, enjoy this discussion of a movie everyone else has forgotten.

Randy's Score: 1/5

JD's Score: 2/5

Spotify link here!

Up Next: Short Circuit!

Episode 49 ~ The Skateboard Kid (1993)

We're taking a break from our more recent serious fare this week to deliver an episode on one of the least talked about cult movies there is. It's time for The Skateboard Kid, the talking skateboard movie with more twists than you can shake a stick at.

But does it hold up? The scores might leave you scratching your head, at least, until you check out today's episode. The truth lies somewhere in the between on this one. And can you believe there's another one of these? Randy can't, and you'll hear all about it, believe you me!

Randy's Score: 1/5

JD's Score: 3/5

Spotify link here!

Up Next: The French Connection!

Episode 48 ~ Cube (1997)

Today's movie is a strange one. It's a nearly flawless independent flick done on a miniscule with a lot of ambition and creativity. Despite its limitations Cube is a unique film that has gone nearly forgotten in the near two decades since its release.

So you might read this then wonder about the rating below. If it's nearly flawless, the why are the scores what they are. Well, the truth it there is only one major flaw with the movie and this one flaw damages the film in a way that was easily avoidable and ruins the experience. It's not really a plot twist, but more of a narrative decision that undercuts a lot of potential.

Find out why that is in today's episode!

Randy's Score: 3/5

JD's Score: 3/5

Spotify link here!

Up Next: The Skateboard Kid!

Episode 46 ~ Lake Michigan Monster (2018)

Today we go a little bit outside of our ballpark and discuss a more recent movie (relatively recent) than our usual fare, based more on older films than what we typically cover on Cannon Cruisers. However, it's for a good reason.

This flick shows much potential for underground and indie film in how something with such a low budget still managed to look, sound, and feel, better than modern day studio movies. Find out how that might be in today's episode!

Randy's Score: 3/5

JD's Score: 3/5

Spotify link here!

Up Next: Grizzly II: The Revenge!

Episode 44 ~ Mac & Me (1988)

What can we say about Mac & Me? Seriously, it's a bizarre movie in more ways than one. In fact, it's one we go over for quite a while trying to wrap our heads around it.

More than just a rip-off of another family friendly alien movie, this might be the craziest film we've covered in some time. Find out why that is in today's episode!

Randy's Score: 1/5

JD's Score: 2/5

Spotify link here!

Up Next: Ninja Terminator!

Episode 42 ~ The Great Land of Small (1987)

We're finally back!

Starting from this week, the first day of February, we're returning to our normal weekly schedule again. And we've decided to start it with another "Tale's For All" movie. This time it's The Great Land of Small! How does what is described as "the Canadian Neverending Story" hold up today? Lets just say that you might be surprised.

Or not. This is "Tales For All" after all.

Randy's Score: 3/5

JD's Score: 3/5

Spotify link here!

Up Next: Tango & Cash!

Christmas Special (Episode 39 ~ The Christmas Martian)

Merry Christmas! We're here with a special episode for this special time of year, and with quite the movie for you. We continue with the Canadian Tales For All movie series with the proto-version made a decade earlier in 1971. That would make this one of the earliest movies we've covered on the show proper, though there's a good reason for that. It's finally time for The Christmas Martian, which would be Tales For All #0.

Check out today's episode and learn just how strange it can get!

Randy's Score: 3/5

JD's Score: 3/5

Spotify link here!

Up Next: The Dog Who Stopped the War!

Episode 37 ~ Death Machine (1994)

We're going back to the '90s for this one! Not only that, but a movie with a cut that was just put out this very year. It's time for Death Machine, from the director of Blade. And it's every bit as exciting as you'd think.

There's a very interesting story behind the production of this one, so be sure to check out the episode and see how that is. There's nothing quite like a good old fashioned cyberpunk horror monster movie with 90s attitude and humor to spare--and you'll get that here!

It's a fun time for all.

Randy's Score: 3/5

JD's Score: 3/5

Spotify link here!

Up Next: Strike Commando!

Episode 4 ~ Mad God (2021)

Here's a curveball!

This time we decided to cover a movie that wouldn't quite have fit in the old style of Cannon Cruisers but fits perfectly in Bonus Feature. This time we took a look at the strange stop motion film that took decades to make and just came out a few years ago.

This one was a bit hard for us to really go into, so be prepared to come into this one, especially if you've never gotten into this one before. Mad God is as mad as the title says. Check and see if it's for you!

Randy's Score: 3/5

JD's Score: 3/5

Spotify link here!

Up Next: Small Soldiers!

Episode 157 - Robotech: The Movie (1986)

Here is a rarity for the Cannon Cruisers. For the first time we cover an animated movie, since it is also the one and only time Cannon itself released one. Not only that, but it is an entry in the infamous 1980s franchise Robotech, and one that has been buried even by those who made it. The producers of Robotech, Harmony Gold, have even long since left this one to obscurity. A rarity for them.

Ostensibly an old lost version of the anime OVA Megazone 23 Part I, Robotech: The Movie has quite the story behind its production and general existence. It's also not quite what you might expect from with Cannon Films or Harmony Gold.

It's quite a strange little picture regardless. See today's episode to find out just why that is the case.

Randy's Score: 3/5

JD's Score: 3/5

Up Next: Schizoid!

Episode 156 - Superman IV: The Quest for Peace (1987)

It's been awhile, but we finally made it here! This one has been a long time coming, but today we took a look at the infamous fourth Superman movie. Is it really as bad as they say, or is it a hidden gem? Well, there is more to it than all that. Check out the episode to see how it shakes out.

On the other hand, perhaps it does deserve its infamy. You'll see what I mean. there is a reason it has that reputation it has.

Randy's Score: 2/5

JD's Score: 2/5

Up Next: Robotech: The Movie!

Non-Cannon ~ Episode 114 - Troll (1986)

No, this isn't that movie. It is, instead, the original film in the "series" that isn't really a series. This one isn't so much horror as more of a family friendly joint. As a result it doesn't quite hit the mark in either camp, falling short in both categories.

There are some interesting effects and ideas here, but it altogether doesn't quite add up to a great watch. Unfortunately, it's missing both the chills of horror and the thrills of an adventure. Check out the full episode to see why that might be.

Randy's Score: 2/5

JD's Score: 3/5

Up Next: Superman IV: The Quest for Peace!

Episode 153 - The Seven Magnificent Gladiators (1983)

Though we have covered the three typical Lou Ferrigno movies he did with Cannon, what is less spoken about is the movie later edited clumsily into the inferior sequel to Hercules. There is probably a reason for that, including the fact that The Seven Magnificent Gladiators was simply not released on a wide scale back in the day.

That said, this is the only movie Bruno Mattei did with Cannon, and in that aspect it is a bit of a disappoint. A movie made by those two should have been a lot wilder. That said, the final result is a simply a fun peplum flick--a sword and sandal version of The Seven Samurai / The Magnificent Samurai. It could have been more impressive, but as it is The Seven Magnificent Gladiators is a pleasant watch.

It could have been more than that, but the flick still works. It isn't a patch on Ferrigno's Sinbad movie, though.

Randy's Score: 3/5

JD's Score: 3/5

Up Next: The Hanoi Hilton!

Non-Cannon ~ Episode 113 - UFOria (1984)

A long time ago, there was a period where movies would be made then sit on a shelf for years because the studio did not know how to advertise it. UFOria is just this sort of movie, releasing in the theatre after sitting in a vault for years, then getting a VHS release a couple of years afterwards, and then disappearing entirely out of the public consciousness for decades. This was a tough film to find.

Seeing that might make you think this movie is a disaster of some kind. It's just a bit off-kilter. A comedy about aliens, belief, and community, it's not really your typical genre film. And that's probably why it wasn't an easy sell.

But does this any of this make UFOria a bad movie? No, actually, it's quite worth watching. Check out today's episode to see why that might be the case.

Randy's Score: 3/5

JD's Score: 3/5

Up Next: The Seven Magnificent Gladiators!

Non-Cannon ~ Episode 111 - Alien Private Eye (1989)

Sometimes a movie comes out of nowhere to surprise you in ways you might not expect. Sometimes it exceeds your expectations in ways you might not expect while also falling short in areas that are just plain bizarre. Alien Private Eye is such a movie. Part detective story, part alien flick, and part action, it's all low budget but with a lot of charm. This is one very much of its era and couldn't have been made in any other time or place.

Think Miami Connection only for detective movies and you might get close to what makes Alien Private Eye tick. Of course, as always, the full episode will give you the full score on this one. A description can't really do it justice.

Randy's Score: 4/5

JD's Score: 4/5

Up Next: Surrender!

Episode 137 - Aladdin (1986)

Here is a triple decker of weirdness. It's a 1980s family movie, it's made by Cannon Films, and it is Italian. Those are three aspects that do not tend to blend together well, but in this case, it somehow works out to make a surprisingly fun experience.

Aladdin, known in Italian as Superfantagenio, is a goofy family comedy, with an escalation you have to see to believe, and starring one of the true heavyweights of the Italian world, Bud Spencer himself, to deliver a movie somewhat out of its time, and yet is one that could only be made at the time it was, before family filmmaking became standardized in the 1990s with the PG-13 and G rating. Check this one out for an experience you might not quite expect.

As always, we reveal more in the full episode!

Randy's Score: 4/5

JD's Score: 4/5

Up Next: Street Hunter!

Episode 126 - Sword of the Valiant (1984)

Welcome back! Today we return with another Cannon favorite that we had somehow missed the first time around. This time it is the 1984 Arthurian favorite, Sword of the Valiant, an adaption of Sir Gawain and the Green Knight, a weird attempt by Golan and Globus to essentially remake a film that had already been made by the same director!

It is hard to describe what makes this one so infamous as our experience with it is that it merely falls short of its goals, but overall it is a competent picture. Cannon has certainly made worse but they have also made better. Nonetheless, there is not a whole lot about this that is very expected or likely coming from Cannon, or anyone else, in the 1980s.

To understand what that means, check out today's episode above. This isn't the easiest movie to describe, and you'll see why.

Randy's Score: 2/5

JD's Score: 3/5

Up Next: New Year's Evil!