Short Early Year Update!

You might have noticed there's no new episode this week. That's because we're busy behind the scenes getting ourselves a backlog to post for the year ahead. Last week's episode was a bit of a preview, something to get you excited for what is coming.

We have some idea for fun movies this year, and we're still playing around with what we want to do. That said, it's still basically going to be business as usual for 2025 otherwise. Nothing is going to change, and that's the way we want it around here.

So strap in and prepare yourself, because we've got some great episodes coming down the pipeline.

Welcome to 2025 and we'll see you next week for the next episode!

Thanks for 2024!

Yes, the goofy song you heard above is me playing around with AI music. Just a last bit of fun before we wrap up 2024.

We put out quite a lot this year, even when the initial plan was to slow down to a bi-weekly schedule. For whatever reason, we stopped doing that at some point. I have no idea why. Regardless, Cannon Cruisers is not really work for us so much as something we use as a breather to have fun. Taking a break from it is rather pointless, except when we don't have the time or opportunity to record. Suffice to say, we'll be continuing to cruise our Bonus Feature catalog into 2025.

I wanted to thank everyone for stopping by and listening, whether it's here at the blog, the Spotify, the YouTube channel, or even on my Substack. We've even opened a Letterboxd for anyone who wants to keep track of average ratings for the movies covered. We are very much appreciative to anyone who takes the time out to listen, and with over 300 episodes, you aren't going to run out of material anytime soon. Once again, thanks for listening.

Of course, I can't tell you what 2025 holds. I cannot see the future, after all. However, we will be back sooner than later to continue our cruise into the mists of the past--and maybe even with some modern surprises along the way!

Until then, thank you for watching and we will see you in 2025!

We're on YouTube!

It's been hectic on the home front this year, so it's been difficult to put up an actual update on how things are going in regards to Cannon Cruisers. That said, there is one important thing I wanted to talk about here in its own post.

Yes, the title is correct: Cannon Cruisers is now on YouTube! The channel is currently being managed by Randy who is putting older episodes and newer ones up at a decent pace. the goal is to eventually have everything available there, just as we do on Bitchute and on Substack. There is no shortage of ways to listen to Cannon Cruisers to your heart's content and share it with others.

Also, in case you missed it we moved from Soundcloud to Spotify, so update your feed accordingly if you haven't. I also created a Letterboxd account that covers all the movies we went over on Cannon Cruisers since the beginning. The star ratings given are the average ratings on our most recent opinions, so they might not match what we give on the episode proper. Regardless, it's a good place to check if you're curious about what we may have covered before. So far the count is well over 300 movies! Even I'm surprised at the count. Just how many can we reach?

We have a few more episodes to come until the end of the year, including a fun Christmas episode. The year's not over yet, so keep close and see just what we've got left! There are some surprises coming up, so be on the look out.

There's much more fun to come!

Introducing Cannon Cruisers: Bonus Feature!

Here is the Big Update promised, and as shocking as it is, the main purpose of it is to tell you that Cannon Cruisers is not actually done.

Surprise!

While the old Cannon Cruisers series ended with exactly 170 Cannon Films episodes and 130 Non-Cannon episodes, a combined count of 300 total, we then decided to use the opportunity to do something different. We will continue Cannon Cruisers in a new way. As a consequence of our decision, we decided to end the old series, wrapping it up in a neat little bow and combining the total episode counts into one. 

We did this because we want to relaunch Cannon Cruisers as more of a general movie / entertainment focused podcast, though it will still heavily feature films from the same time period as the original series did. The main reason we decided to do this is because there isn't much left to cover Cannon Films-wise specifically that we haven't already gone over, but on the other hand there is still plenty from the era (and bordering it) we still want to go over. On top of that, there are also curveballs we'd like to cover that wouldn't really fit the old format at all.

In other words, welcome to Bonus Feature, the new Cannon Cruisers series! Expect more of the same, and more on top of it.

What will be happening is that essentially the first episode of Bonus Feature will go up in March. It will start the count over at #1 again (though it would technically by "#301" overall, it's just simpler to start the numbering from the beginning again) and will no longer be on a weekly basis. We will try for biweekly, but there is no hard schedule anymore. Same style of episodes, it just won't be as constant as it once was.

There are a few reasons for this change. For one, as I've written about elsewhere, and as I know Randy is also dealing with much right now, we want to keep the podcast more of a fun endeavor and less of a serious priority. We've recorded and released 300 episodes over more than half a decade, and we don't want to stop, but we also want to keep it as the light and fun escapism it is for both us and the listeners. Episodes will now come out on a looser schedule, but they will be as they always were otherwise. The only thing that will change is the spread of topics covered and the fact that the "season" format will disappear. Bonus Feature is what it says in the title, a Bonus, and will be treated as one ongoing project from now on.

I also wanted to warn readers of the blog that at some point in the near future the SoundCloud episodes will disappear. That is because we are switching services to something more user (and wallet) friendly, which means we will be reuploading old episodes elsewhere. I will update the old posts accordingly as the switch happens. That said, for those who want to hear the old episodes, there is still the Bitchute page which contains every episode (including the Gaiden episodes I recorded alone during the pandemic), and posted on my own Substack. So if you still want to listen to, or download, any old episode, you still have plenty of options.

That's all there really is to say. Cannon Cruisers isn't going anywhere, neither are we, but the podcast is being tweaked a bit in order to keep it fresh and fun for listeners and to keep it interesting for us. Here's hoping for another 300 episodes on the road ahead. We've got a lot planned.

Thank you for listening and we will see you in March for the first episode of Bonus Feature! It's going to be a good one!

Up Next: Bonus Feature #1!

Top Cannon Lists

I wanted to take this moment to thank you for sticking around with Cannon Cruisers for so many years. As a result of our six and a half years of operation we have had 300 episodes and covered about as many movies. It's been fun.

But we're not quite done yet!

There's still things we want to do, and future plans to discuss what we plan on doing next. That's right, we're not quite stopping with our 300th episode, but things will be a bit different when we get to that. It'll be interesting when it happens.

For now I want to share the complete lists we covered over the last couple of months of episodes, as well as some bonus ones just for today.

Stay tuned for next week when we discuss exactly what will be happening next. Until then, have a good one!

Top 100 Cannon Films

100. King Solomon's Mines
99. Making the Grade
98. Down Twisted
97. The Seven Magnificent Gladiators
96. River of Death
95. Allan Quatermain and the Lost City of Gold
94. The Barbarians
93. Sword of the Valiant
92. Seed of Innocence (aka Teen Mothers)
91. Body and Soul
90. Duet for One
89. Number One with a Bullet
88. Going Bananas
87. Street Smart
86. Surrender
85. Fool for Love
84. Thunder Alley
83. American Ninja 3: Blood Hunt
82. Delta Force 3: The Killing Game
81. The Wicked Lady
80. House of the Long Shadows
79. Superman IV: The Quest for Peace
78. Firewalker
77. Keaton's Cop
76. Grace Quigley
75. Rappin'
74. Over the Brooklyn Bridge
73. Jean-Luc Godard's King Lear
72. Avenging Force
71. Link
70. Exterminator 2
69. The Last American Virgin
68. Rescue Me
67. Hellbound
66. Journey to the Center of the Earth
65. Kinjite: Forbidden Subjects
64. The Naked Cage
63. Otello
62. Dutch Treat
61. Lambada
60. Street Knight
59. Hero and the Terror
58. Messenger of Death
57. Murphy's Law
56. The Hitman
55. Dangerously Close
54. Hercules
53. Sinbad of the Seven Seas
52. Missing in Action 2: The Beginning
51. Death Wish 4: The Crackdown
50. Fifty/Fifty
49. Chain of Command
48. American Cyborg: Steel Warrior
47. American Ninja V
46. Schizoid
45. Braddock: Missing in Action III
44. American Samurai
43. The Naked Face
42. Midnight Ride
41. That Championship Season
40. Ordeal by Innocence
39. American Ninja 4: The Annihilation
38. One More Chance
37. Rockula
36. 10 to Midnight
35. Cyborg
34. To the Death
33. Penitentiary III
32. Aladdin
31. Invaders from Mars
30. Hospital Massacre (aka X-Ray)
29. Evil Angels / A Cry in the Dark
28. Enter the Ninja
27. Barfly
26. Breakin'
25. Masters of the Universe
24. American Ninja 2: The Confrontation
23. Too Much
22. 52 Pick-Up
21. Shy People
20. New Year's Evil
19. Death Wish II
18. Tough Guys Don't Dance
17. The Delta Force
16. Over the Top
15. The Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2
14. Alien from L.A.
13. Kickboxer
12. Love Streams
11. Missing in Action
10. The Apple
9. Invasion U.S.A.
8. Breakin' 2: Electric Boogaloo
7. Death Wish 3
6. Revenge of the Ninja
5. American Ninja
4. Lifeforce
3. Runaway Train
2. Ninja III: The Domination
1. Bloodsport

Individual lists

Randy's Top 25 Cannon List

1. Bloodsport

2. Ninja III: The Domination

3. Runaway Train

4. Lifeforce

5. Breakin' 2: Electric Boogaloo

6. Invasion U.S.A.

7. Love Streams

8. Alien from L.A.

9. The Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2

10. Over the Top

11. To the Death

12. Death Wish II

13. Penitentiary III

14. Shy People

15. Barfly

16. Aladdin

17. New Year's Evil

18. Tough Guys Don't Dance

19. 10 to Midnight

20. Midnight Ride

21. Rockula

22. The Naked Face

23. Lambada

24. Masters of the Universe

25. Invaders from Mars

JD's Top 25 Cannon List

1. Bloodsport [1988]
2. American Ninja [1985]
3. Missing in Action [1984]
4. Runaway Train [1985]
5. Lifeforce [1985]
6. Love Streams [1984]
7. Revenge of the Ninja [1983]
8. Kickboxer [1989]
9. American Ninja 2: The Confrontation [1987]
10. Death Wish IV: The Crackdown [1987]
11. Invasion USA [1985]
12. 52 Pick Up [1986]
13. Death Wish III [1986]
14. Ninja III: The Domination [1984]
15. Masters of the Universe [1987]
16. Enter the Ninja [1981]
17. Over the Top [1987]
18. American Cyborg: Steel Warrior [1993]
19. American Samurai [1992]
20. Invaders from Mars [1986]
21. To the Death [1994]
22. Breakin' 2: Electric Boogaloo [1984]
23. Cyborg [1989]
24. Fifty / Fifty [1992]
25. The Delta Force [1986]

Randy's Top 5 Overlooked Cannon Movies

1. To the Death

2. American Ninja V

3. Midnight Ride

4. Rockula

5. Dutch Treat

JD's Top 5 Overlooked Cannon Movies

1. To the Death

2. Fifty/Fifty

3. Midnight Ride

4. Invaders from Mars

5. Sinbad of the Seven Seas

Randy's Top 5 Worst Cannon Movies

1. Bolero

2. America 3000

3. Hanna's War

4. Gor / Outlaw of Gor (Tied)

5. Terminal Bliss

JD's Top 5 Worst Cannon Movies

1. Bolero

2. Doin' Time on Planet Earth

3. Three Kinds of Heat

4. Thunder Run

5. America 3000

Up Next: The big update!

Thank You for Five Years!

We really started this blog back in September of 2017 on a whim. There was no expectation that we'd do anything after a couple of episodes of Cannon Cruisers but get bored and move on to something else. It is what tends to happens, after all. Nonetheless, we're still here and still making episodes after half a decade! Even now it's kind of hard to believe Cannon Cruisers is still going. It's been quite a run so far, and neither of us expected to get this far.

When Cannon Cruisers started, there wasn't much discussion online about Cannon Films as we thought there should be. You can check back around 2017 and see for yourself how barren the topic was for discussion. That is one of the advantages of internet discussion, after all. Things have changed in such a short time. Five years, apparently, makes a very big difference. Now there are entire books about Cannon Films, the company's classics (and not-so classics) are being re-released by the likes of Kino Lorber, Vinegar Syndrome, and Shout Factory, almost all the time, and there are many other podcasts and series discussing the company.

As I said, this is quite the turnaround in such a short time.

None of this was really going on back then, which should be a sign of how much things have changed, and how the cinematic landscape and the perception around the 1980s and 1990s era of filmmaking has altered. What was once seen as an ironic joke at best, has now become accepted reality. I've always maintained the true Golden Age of b-movies (and the silver age of film in general) was the mid-1970s though mid-1990s, and I hope if Cannon Cruisers has done anything, it is make a case for that being obviously true. We have covered somewhere around 250 films since we've started, not all great, not all bad, but all that highlight the era as something far different than the one we live in today and with an identity all of its own. This time period has much to offer viewers even today, a quarter of a century removed from the last new Cannon product put out on a video store shelf. Not bad for what was once since as a long running joke by Gen X hipsters!

There is a spark and spirit here that we couldn't quite understand or miss until enough time had passed and we looked into it ourselves. Now it is undeniable.

As an aside, I have the second volume of the Cannon Film Guide, but haven't bothered to do a review since there is little reason to. If you've seen my review of volume 1, it is still relevant for volume 2. There is is just more book this time to cover more films. After this release, there is only one more volume left, to cover Cannon's final films into the 1990s, and I highly recommend this series as the best source on a company that is finally getting its due. The books are not padded, either, there is simply that much information about this era that has never been properly explored before. As I said, the landscape has changed a lot over the last five years, and I couldn't be happier about it. This is explicitly the opposite of how we used to think of this period. It isn't quite so disposable, after all. Turns out we've missed quite a bit.

We're now about to go into 2023, and on the road to finishing up our eighth (!) season. There isn't much left on the Cannon front to cover after that. We're planning on wrapping up this season in a big way, and then, after that, who knows. We'll probably wind it down to periodic episodes or something of the like. Nonetheless, I think 2022 was the last year of weekly Cannon Cruisers episodes. 2023 will be when we finish off this last full season and move on. There just isn't much more material to sustain us keeping our weekly schedule, even one we haven't really deviated on since near the beginning of the series. Considering how much Cannon we've covered, I'm sure you understand.

All of that aside, I just want to repeat how thankful we are that we're still going, and that you're still listening! It's been a long road, with many episodes, on a subject we knew would be interesting but we're sure anyone wanted to join us on. Since we've started, we've definitely grown in our appreciation of both Cannon Films and the art of film in general, finding both new favorites and greater understanding of the ones we liked in the first place. It's been a ride. Thank you for giving us the opportunity to do this at all!

Even though the last few years were rough for everybody, and it looks like that might continue a bit longer, at least we still have entertainment and art to take us to that higher level above the mundanity and the down times closing in. There is always something to aim for, and even the fun and the silly movies can help remind us of that. Who knows what tomorrow holds, but at least we can make it there in the first place. Art is truly a gift.

Thank you again for five years! Please stick with us until the end. We've still got a few more tricks up our sleeve before we wrap it up! Just wait until you see what we've got coming down the pipeline. We came in swinging, and we're going to go out the same way! Not too dissimilar from Cannon Films themselves, actually.

Have a happy New Year and wonderful Christmas season! See you in 2023!

Thank You for 2021!

I just wanted to put out a quick thank you to everyone who reads the blog and listens to the episodes. I know it's been a rough few years for just about everybody in the world for many different reasons, but still we need a break from it all to rest and have a little fun.

Cannon Cruisers was an idea that started a few years back on a whim due to this desire to explore lesser touched on aspects of the way things were. Cannon Films was a unique studio from a unique time with a unique way of doing things and, until the last few years, hadn't really gotten their due for it. Aside from being a punchline for movie hipsters and nostalgia fodder for Gen X teenagers and Gen Y kids, no one talked much about them.

I'm happy to say that much has actually changed since we first started this podcast four (!) years ago in 2017. There are far more podcasts about Cannon Films, for one, and far more people enjoying them for what they were. Not only that, but Cannon is far more ubiquitous now than they've been in the near 25 years since the last movie was released in North America.

It's a very different world now.

Back when we began finding Cannon movies to watch was also a bit of an ordeal. So many of the movies were too obscure that no one appeared interested in picking them up and putting them out. Considering how popular Cannon Films was back in the day, this was surprising at the time. How does one of the most popular, if not the most famous, b-movie studio get completely glossed over? Especially in our nostalgically obsessed world?

Of course, that didn't make much sense. So naturally, a lot of people noticed, and did something about it.

It's a different world now. Boutique labels like Kino Lorber, Code Red, Scorpion Releasing, Vinegar Syndrome, and others, have been putting out a record number of Cannon movies on Blu-Ray over the last few years. 

Even streaming services have finally began putting their work up there for more people to see. This is a compete change from a few years ago when even a cult movie like Rappin' was difficult to find. Now it feels like everything Cannon put out could be made available at anytime. This wasn't thought likely at all, even a few years ago.

In fact, because of this renaissance of re-released movies, it has allowed us to put out even more episodes. In fact, our next season (after our upcoming wrap-up episodes) mainly exists thanks to this change in the status quo. You will see an onslaught of movies covered that we just couldn't get back when we started, for whatever reason. Now things have opened up again for us, and season 8 might be our biggest season yet. 

Stay tuned for that!

This is a long way to say thank you for sticking with us for four years. It's been quite a ride. I don't think either of us expected it lasting quite this long, but we definitely are happy we not only started it but also stuck with it. We're in it for the long haul now.

Thank you for a fun 2021 here at Cannon Cruisers, and hopefully we'll see you again next year for more madness as we continue marauding the Cannon vaults into out fifth year anniversary. We've got a lot left in the tank!

We're well on our way to covering a total of over 200(?!) movies and beyond. And we're still not even done.

Have a good holiday and we'll see you in 2022!

Season 7 Schedule

Hey, everyone! Hope you are having a good spring and Lent season. It's starting to get nice out again. I just wanted to give everyone a quick update as to our status with Cannon Cruisers, since we are just about to start a new season after a rocky 2020.

We're currently in our fourth year(!) doing this, and you might have noticed that every season focuses in a certain era in Cannon Films history. If you've taken a look at what the episode list says, it states that the upcoming season will cover everything in the '90s up to the end of Cannon. The reason we're doing this is that because beyond 1990, Cannon's output had slowed considerably. This naturally means that we have to widen the scope of material to get a full season worth of episodes.

So, there is a very obvious question to pose here, and you might have already asked it. Does this mean season 7 is the final season of Cannon Cruisers?

The answer is No.

While season 7 intends to go up to the end of Cannon chronologically, we have also missed many movies on the way to getting there. I'm sure if you're a Cannon aficionado, you've noticed it. From availability issues to just plain ignorance, there are a lot of films we wanted to cover that we just didn't get to on our first pass. On the other hand, the same goes for Non-Cannon entries we just haven't had the opportunity to cover. Then there are movies we are considering covering again due to not being totally satisfied with the first go.

What this means is that season 8, not season 7, will be the last season of Cannon Cruisers, but it won't be a short one. It probably won't even be a consistent one. Our plans for the final season will be to cover and go over everything we can get out hands on when we can get it, and that means we might miss a week or two trying to do so. It'll definitely be longer than other other season considering how much searching will have to be done. There will also be more Non-Cannon episodes than any other season so far, both to fill holes and to cover many films we just can't get around to during a normal season.. That's just the nature of this sort of series, though with the unwieldy nature of the last season, it's going to be unavoidable.

When we started, streaming wasn't quite as big as it is now, and availability of these movies was the worst it had been . . . possibly ever. But that has changed since 2017. We have found a lot of the flicks we had first missed out on, and others we didn't even know existed at the time. The material we can cover today is far wider than what we could when we just started out. Availability has always been the toughest part of this series, and that is thankfully getting easier.

To sum up: there is still a lot we still want to cover. We won't be wrapping up anytime soon.

As for season 7, we've already started recording and we're ready with our premiere episode for next week. Keep your calendars marked for April!

There are still a few surprises and curveballs we want to throw you, but we obviously can't reveal them quite yet. Nevertheless, Cannon Cruisers is still going to continue on, so don't worry if that thought has been at the back of your mind. We still have plenty of the Cannon catalogue to cruise through. If anything, we're still just getting warmed up.

That's it for today! Remember that next Sunday will be the premiere episode of season 8! You're going to really like this one, I promise. It's a good one!

Last note, I wanted to share something.

In pseudo-related news, home video company MVD Rewind has just announced a Blu-Ray version of the Cannon films documentary, The Go-Go Boys: The Inside Story Of Cannon Films. I'll include the press release and the old trailer below.

The MVD Rewind Collection has announced that it will bring to Blu-ray Hilla Medalia's documentary The Go-Go Boys: The Inside Story Of Cannon Films (2014). The release will be available for purchase on July 20.

Synopsis: The Go-Go Boys: The Inside Story Of Cannon Films is a documentary about two Israeli-born cousins, Menahem Golan and Yoram Globus, who in pursuit of the American Dream, turned the Hollywood power structure upside down, producing over 300 films and becoming the most powerful independent film company in the world. Directed by Sundance Grand Jury Prize nominee Hilla Medalia (After the Storm), The Go-Go Boys is an up close and personal documentary that examines the complex relationship between two contradictory personalities whose combined force fueled their success and eventual collapse. Featuring interviews with Jean-Claude Van Damme, Michael Dudikoff, Eli Roth, Boaz Davidson along with Menahem Golan and Yoram Globus themselves, as well as archive footage of Sylvester Stallone, Charles Bronson and Chuck Norris in the definitive documentary about Cannon Films.

Special Features:

• Original Theatrical Trailer
• Reversible Artwork
• Collectible Mini-Poster
• Limited Edition Slipcover (First Pressing Only)
• AND MORE...

Will we cover it? That's always a possibility. For now, we have other things to get to, like getting back to recording episodes for season 7.

Thanks for tuning in, guys. It's great hearing your feedback and the energy these old movies can still supply audiences even decades later. It's been fun being a part of it, and we hope to be with you much longer! 

Keep cruising that Cannon catalogue, and we'll see you next time!

The Four Blocks of Good Pacing

Hey, guys. Since there's no new episode until April I thought I would share with you this part of a recent post on my other blog Wasteland & Sky. It is about what I learned in regards to pacing an action movie from doing Cannon Cruisers for so long.

You can find the full post here, but I've included the relevant information for this post below.

Once again, thanks for coming by and I'll see you soon for more episodes!

Rarely does an action movie ever justify being shorter than 80 minutes or longer than 100, so ones that break this rule tend not to be very good on a fundamental level. Rushing through the story shows a lack of craft, and stalling shows a disrespect for the audience's time and overestimation of your own talents. An action and adventure story is meant to introduce quickly, then get to the rising action ASAP. The audience needs to be wowed as soon as you can do it, but do it too often or take too long to do it and they will rightfully drift off. Remember, they are here for the action. they aren't here for you to waste their time.

This means knowing when to end the story. Action stories should be as short as possible because the audience will get burned out or even desensitized to what you do. The faster and stronger your punches, the quicker the fight is won. Are you in a fight with your audience? In a sense. You are fighting to keep them engaged, and they are engaged in action and adventure because they want to see action and adventure. The less they get of it, the less they will want to stick around. You need to offer it to them while also making sure they stick around for the whole ride. This requires respecting their time and knowing the right way to cater to their needs.

Think of it in movie terms, such as the above. Imagine the shortest limit I put up there, an 80 minute action movie. How would that work? How do you make a movie so short and yet mange to hit all the right points? Naturally, few movies are as short as 80 minutes, but it appears to be the bare minimum you can go before you start losing things you need to make the story work. In essence, an 80 minute action movie would be the bare minimum required.

I will describe it in four blocks.

First 20 minutes: Introduction

In the first 20 minutes, you need to introduce your protagonist, their goals and why we should root for them. you must do the same for the antagonist. At the same time, the conflict between the two, why they are opposed, is to be set up. where most action movies go wrong as bloating this up with big, elaborate back stories or convoluted motivations in an attempt to be clever. You don't need to be clever, you need to be clear. Tell the audience straight out what they want to know. The longer you take to set it up, the more you risk the audience tuning out.

At the same time as the above, you need to have some action early in the story to give an indication as to what the audience will be expecting for the rest of the movie. This chunk of time is essentially the entirety of the first act, and it's very necessary. It's important set up, but dragging it out too long risks boring the audience and blowing through it too quickly risks confusing them. I can say, audiences will be looking at the time if you blow past half an hour on setup, and that is the last thing any moviemaker should ever want.

Second 20 minutes: Rising Action

Next, you ratchet up the action, leading up to the second act turn. Whether the heroes or villains suffer a win or loss doesn't matter so much as that  the actual situation changes by the end of this conflict stage. The status quo must be rocked, and it must be reflected in the action. The carnage here must trump everything that came before, otherwise the audience will not feel the tension as best they need to stick with the story. Remember, this is action!

When this part ends, it shouldn't contain finality, but just enough of a shakeup that means the protagonist and antagonist have unfinished business and, to use an old cliché, that said business is now personal. If it isn't personal by this point then the characters are not as invested as they should be, and neither will the audience be.

Third 20 minutes: Tension Release

Yes, action stories shouldn't have constant explosions and knife fights. The audience needs to take in what just happened and learned how it affected what the characters have just gone through. Just as the introduction builds to the chaos the audience just experienced, so to must it be built again. This is the one period of the movie where there should be a lull in the action, the audience needs a breather and requires catching up with what just happened.

At the same time, the plot needs to continue towards the setup for the final confrontation. Linger too long on downtime and you risk the audience losing interest again. You need to remember that this is an action story, so things still have to move. All the pieces on the board must come to the place they need to be for the final checkmate. The hero says goodbye, he might not make it back, etc. Get ready for the climax, because this is all going to explode.

Fourth 20 minutes: Climax

This is where everything goes off the rails, in a good way. Everything has led to this moment, and the action needs to reflect all the buildup you have had so far. But it isn't just a final release. Even during the climax does the action rise, leading to the iconic standoff between protagonist and antagonist, where it is released in a battle of wills that can go however your story is meant to go . . . but it must top everything seen so far. It leads to the final moment when both hero and villain exchange their final (possibly metaphoric) blows with each other, and the correct party walks away. Do this right and the audience will be pumping their fist as the cheesy rock song plays and the credits roll over the remaining debris of what was just unleashed.

You'll notice I didn't put "denouement" in its own category. This is because action movies shouldn't have them. The story should end as close to the villain's defeat as possible, letting the audience leave on the high they came in for. The longer you risk going on and on after the final confrontation, the more you risk losing the effect you worked so hard for. You want the audience feeling like something got accomplished, and it meant something. That final image is going to stick with them long after they've put that movie back in the case again. This is what any creator wants the audience to feel.

This is the key to making a good action movie. It requires an order to the chaos, just as most storytelling does. It prioritizes giving the audience what they want through tight pacing and parsing out gold nuggets of action in all the right places. Every classic action movie does this.

Yes, the above formula does look a lot like the Lester Dent formula, but since it we are working with visuals and not words there is a lot more to keep track of. Director-style, actors, execution of action, and even cinematography, can change the amount of time it takes for any of these things to happen. However, if you risk going over 30 minutes in any of these categories, you risk losing the audience entirely. Hence why there are few good action movies that break the 2 hour mark, and none that reach 3 hours without severe pacing problems. These movies simply don't warrant being that long because they go against the point of action, which is to be quick and brutal.

And sure enough, as long as I've been doing Cannon Cruisers and have covered well over 100 movies by now, this unwritten rule appears to have been put to good use. Just like most stories, there is a clear winning formula at play here.

Next time you watch an action movie, try to keep it that above formula in your head. You'll notice each part falls somewhere within the 20-30 minute limit I've described. For good reason. Most classic action directors knew how to put audience needs first.

Everything has a formula, you just need to be sure you're following the right one.

You can find more of my posts on Wasteland & Sky.

Extra Reviews

Because I watch films on my own outside of Cannon Cruisers, I thought I would share with you some of the movies I've seen over the past few years outside of the podcast that would otherwise be Cannon Cruiser episodes. Whether it is because Randy expressed no interest or because I didn't think he'd be interested, I watched these on my own.

As usual, these fall in the category of Non-Cannon episodes, but are movies that we won't be doing episodes on. That's fine because I'm not sure I could say anymore on these movies than these short spurts.

With that said let us head to the reviews.



Re-Animator (1985)

A Lovecraft movie that manages to nail both the eerie feel of a Lovecraft story, and at the same time balances comedy and horror expertly. I found it hard to believe this was as good as it was even when watching. Jeffrey Combs' performance is especially one to remember. There isn't really anything like Re-Animator, even in the horror subgenre of Frankenstein-style "Playing God" movies. Unless you have some sort of an irrational fear of zombies this is a must see movie.

JD's Score: 5/5



Tuff Turf (1985)

A modern Rebel Without a Cause-style movie. This stars James Spader as a loner who arrives at a new school to take on a gang and ends up falling in love at the same time. There were a few of these movies at the time, but Tuff Turf turns out to be one of the better attempts. The characters are memorable, the acting is good, and the soundtrack is pitch perfect. If you're looking for a tough guy movie then this definitely worth it.

JD's Score: 4/5



Night of the Creeps (1986)

In this '50s horror style romp, brain slugs take over the campus of a college and all hell breaks loose. From the director of Monster Squad, this is comedic horror take on what it's like to lose yourself to your lesser urges.Yes, that means what you think it does. The movie is a lot of fun and is very lighthearted despite the gruesomeness of what happens, and the effects are very impressive. Highly recommended for horror buffs and anyone who likes their movies weird. Because this is weird, but very unique.

JD's Score: 4/5



The Blob (1988)

A "remake" of the 1958 Steve McQueen classic, this movie has a much more depressing and dour tone than that one. It's essentially the story of modernism and how the blind pursuit of progress takes the innocent in its cross-hairs to be devoured. Everything gets crushed and no one will be spared: no matter who you are. This would usually make for a miserable experience, but coming out in the 1980s allowed incredible special effects, inventive direction, and some sharp writing to make this quite the deserved cult classic. You won't guess what happens next! I can't say enough good things about The Blob.

JD's Score: 5/5



3:15 The Moment of Truth (1986)

The best way to describe this is: Tuff Turf, but not as good. Which is a shame, because it's not bad, but could be better. It features a gang member who walks away from his gang and a year later the gang starts getting worse and starts imploding. The problem is that this is a setup that needs to focus on multiple characters and different angles, but we get none of them. There's no scope to create stakes. The main character leaving the gang would have more impact if we saw what the gang meant to him or vice versa, and why the gang came to be. But because of this overly narrow scope it is hard to get invested in the drama. It's a solid watch, but there are better in this genre.

JD's Score: 3/5



Martial Law (1990)

Aside from a goofy opener, this buddy cop action movie is just all around flat. There's drama with no impact, twists that don't mean much, and a villain who is boring. Cynthia Rothrock is in this, but she might as well not be. There's nothing for her, or anyone else, to do here. Normally I save action movies for Cannon Cruisers, since even Randy can get behind them, but there was really no point with this one. This is a movie even Cannon itself would have shelved for being too dull. And that's saying something.

JD's Score: 2/5



Deadbeat at Dawn (1988)

A movie written and directed by one man filmed over the course of years, and it doesn't show it. This is another gang movie, but it's much grittier than the above ones. Goose is a man who leaves his gang and tries to make a fresh start when his past catches up with him. This is a pure indie film that is carried by its direction, action, intensity, atmosphere, and surprisingly good effects. I'm not exaggerating when I say this is probably the most impressive movie I've ever seen, and a pure guys-night-out flick at the same time. There isn't anything out there like Deadbeat at Dawn, and that is reason enough to see this.

JD's Score: 5/5



Street Trash (1987)

I don't even know where to begin with this one. I heard about this from author J. Manfred Weichsel due to the effects, which are indeed quite amazing. The movie is about street bums (hence the title) and the discovery of a tainted alcoholic beverage which melts the insides of whoever drinks it. That is, it's supposed to be about that but then the drink disappears for a good third of the movie. There's no plot here, it's just disjointed happenings among random characters who show up then die or disappear before showing up to die later or disappear again. It's definitely a weird movie and worth it if you like disturbing movies with a lot of grime, but it just didn't hold my attention beyond seeing how the insane special effects would be used next.

JD's Score: 2/5



The Junkman (1982)

From the man behind the original Gone in 60 Seconds comes this movie of car stunts, explosions, rock n roll, and good old guy fun. This is an independent picture made all the more impressive in how explosive it is and how relentless the action remains. The back story is given with the first five minutes, then there's ten minutes of setup followed by nonstop action. It's a very 1970s movie. However, it is still very packed with no dragging in pacing. There is always something happening, and always something to keep your eyes glued on the screen. As a stunt movie it is quite a bit of fun.

JD's Score: 3/5



Class of 1984 (1982)

Sort of a take on Blackboard Jungle, but with more of a look towards the way things are going to be in a few years (and cleverly using 1984 in the title helps make the point), this is about the education system and urban and societal decay. Students rule the school and can do whatever they want, as teachers are not there to discipline or teach: they are basically there to recite the curriculum and keep their head down. Because the system neither cares for teachers nor students it ends up grinding them both down to nothing. This one ends in a confrontation with a psychotic gang of students who attack a teacher's home and end up paying the price for their deeds. It's an intense ride, and one well worth experiencing.

JD's Score: 4/5



Class of 1999 (1990)

A loose sequel to Class of 1984, this one has more a fantastical take and is seen from the student's point of view where the last was primarily from the teacher's position. In this one schools are prisons and glorified government camps made to beat the correct information into students. The teachers are inhuman (in more ways than one) and the adults have all but given up, leaving the children to fend for themselves while at the same time expected to be cogs in a machine that is breaking down. This is more of an action movie than the first and relies on some good special effects, making this a much different experience than the earlier movie. It takes some sharp turns. I would definitely recommend seeing this after the first one. They make good companion pieces even despite having so many differences with each other.

JD's Score: 4/5



Class of 1999 II (1994)

This is just a slasher movie in the Class of 1999 setting with a teacher killing students. It's silly and absolutely frothy, but it is enjoyable to watch and have a good time with. There's not a single dull moment despite how off beat it is from the first two (not having anything to do with the original writer/director is part of that), and for lovers of schlock there is a lot here. It's not close to as good as the original ones, and I would even hesitate to call it good, but it is fun. If you watched the first two you might as well watch this one. It can't hurt.

JD's Score: 3/5



I think that's enough for now!

Suffice to say there is a lot out there we can't even begin to cover with Cannon Cruisers, and this is merely a sampling of it. What do you think of these movies? Did I miss anything good? Be sure to let me know. We're always looking for stuff to cover.

That's it for this week. Next time we'll be back with season 6 and back in the thick of it with more Cannon Films goodness.

Stick around, we've got many more movies to talk about!

Why Did Cannon Fall Apart?

It's been a good while since I've done a text entry, and since we're off for two weeks I figured it was about time to write another. We can't leave you hanging too long! This time I want to talk about why Cannon died.

They were a massively influential studio with a good customer base and a place in the library for any self-respecting action film fanatic. Starting with their ownership in 1980 the Israeli cousins Golan and Globus turned a decent underground movie studio into a b-film hit factory. They kept the budgets small and made their movies quick. This resulted in some slapdash fair, especially early on, but by 1984 they were swinging for the fences. By 1987 they were rolling in the dough with this simple formula. But then a few years later they would be near broke and ready to close up shop. Just as soon as they came, they vanished.

Around 15 years of their war on mainstream Hollywood ended with a whimper.

So what happened?

We all know the financial issues that were at play in Cannon's destruction, as well as the cousins no longer getting along by the end of the '80s, but that shouldn't mean failure right off the bat. You can recover from both financial issue and frayed personal relationships. In fact, they were in operation half a decade after their biggest blunders!

So what, precisely, lead to their downfall?

If you've been keeping up with Cannon Cruisers you've noticed that 1988 was not a particularly good year for Cannon, almost reaching their previous lows of 1980. Before this season even the bad movies had a charm and spunk to them that made them enjoyable to watch. Not so much here. For 1988 we only enjoyed two movies immensely: Bloodsport and Cry in the Dark. There were a handful of decent flicks from Chuck Norris and Charles Bronson, and a passable Michael Dudikoff picture, but otherwise Cannon batted total whiffs in '88. Just looking over our lineup for season 6, tentatively covering 1989-1990, show flicks looking just as rocky, if not worse. We should find a gem or two, we always do, but we aren't feeling too hopeful looking ahead.

This, after spending 1980-1986 in ascension, and 1987 with big budget plays. Now they are on their decline which we know will not let up until they close and finish pushing out products by 1995. It feels like it happened overnight. Well, not really. It took one really bad year.

The two of us have been watching any Cannon film we could get our hands on for this project and have to date have watched 70 or so films spread across 8 years, which means we've noticed a few patterns. We have noticed their change is a lot more obvious than you'd think. The reason Cannon Films went under is because they lost their way.

In their first six years Cannon slowly built themselves up with their method of tight budgets, quick productions, and entertainment first. The first few years were them getting their ducks in a row, but by 1984 they were clicking together. They learned the balance of how to be quick, cheap, and flashy, while making movies they matched their ambitions. There wasn't any other studio like them.

By the time Missing in Action, Ninja 3: The Domination, and Breakin' 2, came out in '84 they already proved themselves to be the place to go if you wanted to have a good time. They would build that up in 1985 and 1986 with American Ninja, Invasion USA, Death Wish 3, Runaway Train, Delta Force, Cobra, Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2, 52 Pick Up, Murphy's Law, and Firewalker, proving that they knew how to cash-in on action and give the audience what they wanted. It looked like things were looking up for Cannon Films.

And it might have been. But then came the mistake known as 1987.

By the time of Delta Force, a big hit in '86, Cannon had already begun to get a big head. They starting wasting money on bad ideas, and slashing budgets on the wrong projects to prop up others, and the management started to slide. They broke all the rules that brought them to where they were.

In 1987, they began wasting a lot of money on projects that didn't return on them. Movies such as Over the Top, Masters of the Universe, and especially Superman IV: The Quest for Peace. None of these made back close to what they put into them. A lot of money was spent on projects that didn't quite warrant them, even if they do have cult appeal. I personally really like Over the Top, for instance.

At the same time, outside of American Ninja 2 and Death Wish IV, there wasn't much of Cannon's signature action this year. In fact, there were no Chuck Norris movies from Cannon in 1987! Even putting aside the bad spending, this was inexcusable.

Cannon stopped with their pattern of being the pulp masters of the B-movie world and tried to get in on being a big budget hit factory. That was a mistake. By the time 1988 rolled around they were hurting and it showed. While movies such as Bloodsport showed that old Cannon magic by using small budgets to their full effect, most of the rest felt as incompetent as early 1980 Cannon was. It was as if they had forgotten everything they learned. They were going downhill.

And we're savvy enough to realize things won't get much better from here on it.

While there are still some underrated movies to look forward in the seasons to come, we know that 1987 was more or less the end of Cannon. Their production went down, to the extent that we have to cover two years in order to get enough Cannon material for a normal Cannon Cruiser season! What we're dealing with now is the slow decay. Before the middle of the 1990s Cannon Films would be a memory.

From what I can gather there is a very clear lesson to learn in the story of Cannon Films. Stick with what got you to where you are. Success is work as much as it's chance, and relying on the latter is a good formula for failure. Cannon had both, but lost focus when it needed to have it most of all. After loosing their way they never quite managed to reclaim it again. And that is why they are gone now.

So while Cannon Films is no more, and all we have are the memories, we can still learn much from these cheesy flicks. They were made to give you a thrill, and that they still do even decades later.

I guess, if anything, we can be thankful for that!

Why the '80s?

First, I apologize for the lack of an episode last week and no real one this week. My partner in crime has had a bunch of real life issues, preventing us from making episodes and it put us behind schedule. That's life, I suppose. So this week I decided to write a post for you instead, just like the ones I write on my blog.

A big question that hovers over Cannon Cruisers like the specter of death over Keith Richards is why exactly are we doing this? Why this podcast? Why Cannon Cruisers?

Of course, I've talked about the reason we chose Cannon Films specifically to center our project around. It was mostly out of hunger. Randy and I wanted to do something different, and together, and this felt like the best idea for us. Cannon Films epitomized a whole era of film and entertainment, one that was very influential, and yet one that not only doesn't exist anymore, but its being actively buried.

You see, much of 1980s cinema came after the most nihilistic decade in film in which hopelessness, perversion, and subversion, ruled the day. Audiences didn't respond all that well to '70s film, as most people prefer stories that make them feel better about their day and place in the universe as opposed to being made "to think" or being dragged through the muck. It was not the best time for entertainment. The proof of that assertion would be the #1 film of the 1970s and still one of of the highest grossing films of all-time. That would be the original Star Wars.

In 1977 no one had seen anything like Star Wars in nearly 40 years back when the pulps were still at their peak. It was a pure throwback. The film was a black and white morality Space Opera with mystical monks, laser swords, spaceships, romance, and breathtaking new special effects. Not only did it take audiences by surprise, but it became a phenomenon that not only changed film, but reinvigorated dying mediums of the time like comics, television, and even inspired the newly rising video game industry. Other countries across the world were even affected, as Japan's video game, anime, and manga, industries paid close attention, as well. Storytelling had been permanently dosed with pulp influence. In other words, Star Wars changed everything by unapologetically taking its genre back to its roots.

And other filmmakers jumped on this by the time the '80s rolled around. Who wouldn't want to cash in on such a success? Exciting thrillers, family films, adventure pictures, wacky comedies, action flicks, sword and sorcery, space opera, and horror all took off big and captured the imagination of millions. All of this based on pulp stories. Whereas these tales were dead in the shrinking literary world (still shrinking, I might add!) every other medium took these abandoned genres and gave them to the audience who had been missing them for decades, or weren't alive when they were first around. It was a renaissance of adventure and romance. The industry had gone back to its roots and was thriving. Studios like Cannon lived in such an atmosphere.

Star Wars gave the audience exactly what it needed, and wanted. In the process, it ended up completely shaping the decade to come. Its influence still lingers over pop culture today, and has never gone away. The 1980s became the best decade in pop culture since the 1930s precisely because it remembered what worked, embraced it, and handed it to a new generation. As a consequence, 80s pop culture is still around to this day, while other decades fell off and have been almost entirely forgotten. There wasn't even ever a nostalgia movement for the '70s like there was for other decades like the 50s or 60s. It has just been quietly filed away and left in the dustbin. No real loss, honestly.

However, the current climate is not so good. We're swimming in bland, safe, and yet also "gritty" remakes and reboots. There is no new blood, or ideas. Old franchises, like Star Wars, have abandoned what audiences first came to it for and has been seeing a drop and profits every year since Disney took control. There are no fresh, exciting adventure stories from the mainstream anymore. They've all been muddied up or left to dry out in the hot sun, leaving it a hollow husk reminder of what once was. Hollywood has nothing to offer audiences anymore.

Cannon Cruisers exists because I wanted to rediscover what it was like when the climate was friendlier to exciting ideas and classic concepts, and also to rediscover the last time pop culture actually felt fresh and vibrant. The 1980s was the last time that was the case, and Cannon Films is the best example to show just what it was like at the time. It felt like the perfect place to start.

Sure, one could make the argument that the 1990s were a good decade for pop culture, but not if you look at it closely enough. Every single part of the '90s that were good had one foot in the '80s, and those that didn't were dead and forgotten before the decade was over. 1997 in particular was a black hole of entertainment where much was killed off and what was new has not stood the test of time. It has only gotten worst in the decades since. Heck, the dreary and edgy '00s still remain a punchline to many jokes. The '10s were largely an extension of that. Pop culture more or less died by this time.

But it's not all so bad. The underground movement in the '10s has been a very exciting place to hang out. Literary movements such as PulpRev and Superversive are dedicated to doing what the dying traditional publishers refuse to do: bringing back the adventure and optimism long since thought lost. Indie comics are beginning to take root via crowdfunding while the larger companies hemorrhage money after hiring abysmal talent. Even music has seen a rise in genres like Retrowave to clear out the bad taste of modern pop music well past its expiration date. Independent film is also on the way, but it's taken its time. Even anime has seen college students cobble together funds to create original projects that look far fresher than what their industry is putting out.

For the first time since the '90s went out like a whimper, it looks as if storytelling is on its way back.

And that's a lot of the reason I'm doing Cannon Cruisers.

I want to see what exactly we did lose along the way. I want to see what we can improve. I want to see what we can learn from. Most of all, I want to be entertained. There's a lot from that era that has been abandoned, and not all for the better, to the extent that even weaker projects from that time still have more lessons to teach than the latest Hollywood "think-piece" box office bomb. Cannon, of all companies, actually does still have much to teach us.

It's also exciting to be involved in the entertainment world right now. The growth of so much underground and independent work is like finding buried treasure almost every single day. For the first time in a long time I actually get excited when looking up a new find. So this is the perfect time to rediscover the last peak in pop culture, when it felt like everyone was on the same page, and how we can apply it today. That is entertaining in its own right.

If you haven't been keeping up with this site, now is the time. We have a few more Summer Special movies to get through, then we'll be moving right into season 3 and Cannon's 1986: their biggest year. So join us as we head into our own golden age!

It's bound to be a lot of fun.