About

Hello, everyone, we're the Cannon Cruisers!

This is a project started by the two of us to explore a certain area of '80s cinema that often goes forgotten. Many people already talk about B-movies in either two ways: either they incessantly dump on them or they praise them to cartoonish heights. We aim to be a balance between the two extremes where we judge the movies on what they strive to do and how they turned out. To that end we are focused on the legendary '80s studio, Cannon Films, to center out project around.

To get things off on the right foot, it’s important to understand one thing. This is meant as a fun tribute to Cannon films and 80s cinema. This is not ironic, or meant as an MST3K level mocking. This project is straightforward and honest. There are enough cynical and angry reviews out there to fill the Grand Canyon. We are doing this because we legitimately like these types of movies and want to judge them for what they’re attempting to do and maybe bring others into the fold.

Therefore, this will be our rating system:

5 Stars means the film excels at what it has attempted, is memorable, and the reviewer thoroughly enjoyed it.

4 Stars means the film was very enjoyable and a lot of fun, but comes just short of hitting full marks.

3 Stars means the film is solid. It has noticeable flaws, but its positive points balance it out.

2 Stars means the film is watchable. Everything else simply does not work. There may be a good point or two, but it simply does not hold together.

1 Stars means the film is entirely without entertainment value on any level. It should not be watched under any circumstance.

We will try to put out one review a week to see how far we can get. The only films being skipped are made for direct to video or TV productions. The only exceptions will be the last films on the list since they are the last the studio ever released.

That is how the project will be done. So please join us as we cruise through the Cannon catalog!


You can find videos of the podcasts on our Bitchute and YouTube pages and on JD's Substack. Our Letterbox'd page can be found here. We have a Teespring page, too!

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