Thanks for 2024!

Yes, the goofy song you heard above is me playing around with AI music. Just a last bit of fun before we wrap up 2024.

We put out quite a lot this year, even when the initial plan was to slow down to a bi-weekly schedule. For whatever reason, we stopped doing that at some point. I have no idea why. Regardless, Cannon Cruisers is not really work for us so much as something we use as a breather to have fun. Taking a break from it is rather pointless, except when we don't have the time or opportunity to record. Suffice to say, we'll be continuing to cruise our Bonus Feature catalog into 2025.

I wanted to thank everyone for stopping by and listening, whether it's here at the blog, the Spotify, the YouTube channel, or even on my Substack. We've even opened a Letterboxd for anyone who wants to keep track of average ratings for the movies covered. We are very much appreciative to anyone who takes the time out to listen, and with over 300 episodes, you aren't going to run out of material anytime soon. Once again, thanks for listening.

Of course, I can't tell you what 2025 holds. I cannot see the future, after all. However, we will be back sooner than later to continue our cruise into the mists of the past--and maybe even with some modern surprises along the way!

Until then, thank you for watching and we will see you in 2025!

Episode 40 ~ The Dog Who Stopped the War (1984)

For our last episode of the year, let us continue with a follow-up to our Christmas episode. This is the first "official" entry in the "Tales For All" series of family films. That would be the surprise international hit of The Dog Who Stopped the War from 1984! That's right, it released over a decade after the unofficial "0" entry.

With a title like that you might figure it would either be a sappy preach fest or an overly saccharine safe family movie, but it's not really either. The Tales For All series were known for weird premises imparting lessons on kids that were a bit off the beaten path but never being actually preachy while entertaining, and it all started with this one.

Check out this final episode of 2024, 40 years after the movie's original release, to see why that might be!

Randy's Score: 4/5

JD's Score: 4/5

Spotify link here!

Up Next: Drive!

Christmas Special (Episode 39 ~ The Christmas Martian)

Merry Christmas! We're here with a special episode for this special time of year, and with quite the movie for you. We continue with the Canadian Tales For All movie series with the proto-version made a decade earlier in 1971. That would make this one of the earliest movies we've covered on the show proper, though there's a good reason for that. It's finally time for The Christmas Martian, which would be Tales For All #0.

Check out today's episode and learn just how strange it can get!

Randy's Score: 3/5

JD's Score: 3/5

Spotify link here!

Up Next: The Dog Who Stopped the War!

Episode 38 ~ Strike Commando (1987)

It's here. Finally we get around to covering the most infamous Italian b-movie there is. What did we think about this YouTube reviewer favorite back in the day? More than that, does it work as an action movie? The answer might surprise you.

Or not, if you know anything about us.

Randy's Score: 3/5

JD's Score: 3/5

Spotify link here!

Up Next: The Christmas Martian!

Episode 37 ~ Death Machine (1994)

We're going back to the '90s for this one! Not only that, but a movie with a cut that was just put out this very year. It's time for Death Machine, from the director of Blade. And it's every bit as exciting as you'd think.

There's a very interesting story behind the production of this one, so be sure to check out the episode and see how that is. There's nothing quite like a good old fashioned cyberpunk horror monster movie with 90s attitude and humor to spare--and you'll get that here!

It's a fun time for all.

Randy's Score: 3/5

JD's Score: 3/5

Spotify link here!

Up Next: Strike Commando!

We're on YouTube!

It's been hectic on the home front this year, so it's been difficult to put up an actual update on how things are going in regards to Cannon Cruisers. That said, there is one important thing I wanted to talk about here in its own post.

Yes, the title is correct: Cannon Cruisers is now on YouTube! The channel is currently being managed by Randy who is putting older episodes and newer ones up at a decent pace. the goal is to eventually have everything available there, just as we do on Bitchute and on Substack. There is no shortage of ways to listen to Cannon Cruisers to your heart's content and share it with others.

Also, in case you missed it we moved from Soundcloud to Spotify, so update your feed accordingly if you haven't. I also created a Letterboxd account that covers all the movies we went over on Cannon Cruisers since the beginning. The star ratings given are the average ratings on our most recent opinions, so they might not match what we give on the episode proper. Regardless, it's a good place to check if you're curious about what we may have covered before. So far the count is well over 300 movies! Even I'm surprised at the count. Just how many can we reach?

We have a few more episodes to come until the end of the year, including a fun Christmas episode. The year's not over yet, so keep close and see just what we've got left! There are some surprises coming up, so be on the look out.

There's much more fun to come!

Episode 36 ~ Phantasm II (1988)

After the previous sequel episode, we decided to cover the sequel to another film we enjoyed quite a bit. However, the reception this time was a bit more mixed than we would have liked, though maybe not for the reason you might think.

Though the original Phantasm was a favorite to JD, and Randy thought it was inventive, the sequel is missing a special ingredient the first one had. Find out what we think that might be in today's episode of Bonus Feature!

Randy's Score: 3/5

JD's Score: 3/5

Spotify link here!

Up Next: Death Machine!

Episode 35 ~ Tremors 2: Aftershocks (1996)

It's been long enough that we finally got around to a sequel to one of Cannon Cruisers' favorite flicks. Which is just as well since the sequel also took about as long to be made too. Finally, it is time to cover Tremors 2!

The magical part is that the film ended up being as enjoyable as the original movie, avoiding all the sequel traps along the way to make itself a worthy follow up to a classic monster movie. How did Tremors 2 do it? Tune in to find out!

Randy's Score: 5/5

JD's Score: 5/5

Spotify link here!

Up Next: Phantasm II!

Episode 34 ~ Blast (1997)

Finally we return to the weird world of Albert Pyun! And with a surprisingly fun Die Hard riff on top of it. This one doesn't have a lot of what you might think of from Pyun, in fact it even feels a lot like a Cannon Film though not one he ever made for them. You can take that is a negative or positive if you want to.

That said, it's also surprisingly competent in ways you might not expect. Check out how in today's episode!

Randy's Score: 3/5

JD's Score: 3/5

Spotify link here!

Up Next: Tremors 2!

Episode 33 ~ The Primevals (2023)

Here's another surprise! We cover another movie that was in production limbo for decades before finally getting completed and released. And what's more, this one was also well worth the wait. It's The Primevals, a lost world adventure!

A masterclass of practical effects, throwback 90s acting and plotting, and an even further retro styling of classic monster movies from the early days of cinema, this one is not quite what you might be expecting. It certainly wasn't what we were expecting! Check out the full episode to learn more about the craziness behind the production.

There isn't really anything like The Primevals now or when it was meant to out and, oddly enough, it has made this age even better. Be sure to check it out if you are a practical effects nut and or a lover of adventure movies. You will have a blast.

Randy's Score: 3/5

JD's Score: 3/5

Spotify link here!

Up Next: Blast!

Episode 32 ~ Here For Blood (2022)

And now for something you might not expect--we finally cover a completely modern movie! In this low budget indie movie, mayhem abounds in a bit of a throwback to an older style of horror story that you just don't get too much anymore. Oh yeah, and plenty of practical effects to go around! That's always great to see.

However, it's not quite perfect. There's more to a successful chiller than throwbacks. Check out why that might be in today's episode!

Randy's Score: 3/5

JD's Score: 4/5

Spotify link here!

Up Next: The Primevals!

Episode 31 ~ Gymkata (1985)

Gymkata! What else to say other than that?

To be frank, you either know what this is, or you don't. If you do then you know why this movie works so well. If not, then you might be excited to learn that you've missed out on an 80s action adventure movie based around gymnastics, undead cities, death races, ninjas, and daring danger at every turn. They not only don't make them like this anymore, it was already uncommon by the time it was actually made.

That said, it's not perfect. Find out why in today's episode!

Randy's Score: 3/5

JD's Score: 4/5

Spotify link here!

Up Next: Here for Blood!

Halloween Spectacular VII! (Episode 30)

Welcome back to our seventh Halloween special since starting Cannon Cruisers! If you're wondering what the sixth special was last year, it ran from summer from the start of winter. That was a big one, but this year we decided to do something a bit more traditional.

Like most other years we decided to take on a classic Hollywood franchise from back in the day. Our choice? One of the heavy hitters from the 1970s: The Exorcist!

However, much like our Psycho episode, we decided to skip the most well known film everyone already knows about and has talked on incessantly over the years. It's great, you know it's great, what else can we add? Instead we decided to cover the following two entries in the series. And boy are they different!

Don't worry, though, there is plenty of talk of the original (and we even give our scores for it) as we go into what makes this sequels succeed or fail. It's quite the journey!

We've got much to cover so I won't waste your time here. Anyway, strap in and enjoy in this extra long special episode!

As always, have a Happy Halloween and a great All Saints Day!

The Exorcist II: The Heretic (1977)

Randy's Score: 1/5

JD's Score: 1/5

The Exorcist III: Legion (1990)

Randy's Score: 3/5

JD's Score: 4/5

Spotify link here!

Up Next: Gymkata!

Episode 29 ~ The Sandlot (1993)

Well here it is, the end of our long-running sports special. And what better film than the last one to really stand out from the pack? It's 1993's The Sandlot, a well-regarded classic of the genre. But does it still hold up?

Obviously, yes, it does. We spanned nearly two decades in this run and it was interesting seeing the beginnings and where this genre eventually ended up. After this it would mainly be repetitive takes on the Mighty Ducks, and sometimes with adults, but this is the last one that really emphasized the importance of the sport in conjunction with the lives of the characters. And in many ways it was one of the best at doing so.

If you haven't seen it, you're missing out. Few films nail childhood in the 20th century nearly as well as this does. Give it a look.

Randy's Score: 5/5

JD's Score: 5/5

Spotify link here!

Up Next: Halloween Special VII!

Episode 28 ~ Days of Thunder (1990)

We've reached the 1990s and the tail end of our sports special! Finally we can go into the fan favorite, Days of Thunder! Does it hold up as well as you remember?

You might actually be surprised. Though originally criticized as being Top Gun with cars, the film goes beyond such a simple descriptor to showing the power of the blockbuster movie. It's a throwback, in all the best ways. Find out why that is in today's episode!

Randy's Score: 4/5

JD's Score: 5/5

Spotify link here!

Up Next: The Sandlot!

Episode 27 ~ Best of the Best (1989)

Finally, we come to this one! We've been wanting to cover Best of the Best for years, but never quite got the opportunity to do so. Not only do we get to do it today, but we finally get to dig into it for the first time!

Does it still hold up, or is it too tied to its time and place? Believe it or not, the movie might have aged better than you thought! Check out today's episode for the full scoop.

Randy's Score: 5/5

JD's Score: 5/5

Spotify link here!

Up Next: Days of Thunder!

Episode 26 ~ The Blood of Heroes (1989)

What do you get when you combine Rutger Hauer, sports, the desert, and the post-apocalypse? Turns out you get a cult favorite most have forgotten about. It's also quite unlike any of the other movies we covered and only barely fits the theme. So that made 1989's The Blood of Heroes the perfect choice for this series!

However, it isn't all sunshine and roses. Check out today's episode to learn why!

Randy's Score: 3/5

JD's Score: 3/5

Spotify link here!

Up Next: Best of the Best!

Episode 25 ~ Dead Solid Perfect (1988)

Golf! That's right, it's finally time to take on what many people consider the most boring sport, at least to watch. Does it translate well to a movie or does it adapt the cliched few of the sport a little too well? You'll have to check out today's episode to find out!

However, we aren't quite solid on this adaption of a novel, even though it was an HBO exclusive way back in the day. Why is that? You'll just have to wait and see!

Randy's Score: 2/5

JD's Score: 2/5

Spotify link here!

Up Next: Blood of Heroes!

Episode 24 ~ Hoosiers (1987)

We've covered quite a few sports movies so far in our special, and we've seen more or less how the formula came to be throughout the 1980s into what it would be parodied by the '90s and beyond. What we're seeing less of as we go along are movies that break the mold.

Until today, that is. Hoosiers is a pretty special movie in how accurately it both mythologizes the sport in question while also delivering a great drama centered around a town that lives to aim high. What you get is a sports movie up there with the best--one that is still quite unmatched today. Even despite all we've covered so far, nothing is like Hoosiers, and that is is why it has aged so well and still comes highly recommended.

Find out just why that is in today's episode!

Randy's Score: 5/5

JD's Score: 5/5

Spotify link here!

Up Next: Dead Solid Perfect!

Episode 23 ~ The Best of Times (1986)

In the annals of the movie halls of "Films That Could Have Existed But Unfortunately Didn't (But Somehow Do?)" with the likes of Extreme Prejudice comes this movie that no one seems to remember. Starring Robin Williams and Kurt Russell in an unlikely duo you would not expect, this football film is not quite what you might think it would be. 

At least in some ways. In other ways, The Best of Times falls a bit short of being a forgotten gem. Regardless, it's a solid watch. Find out why that is in this episode!

Randy's Score: 3/5

JD's Score: 3/5

Spotify link here!

Up Next: Hoosiers!

Episode 22 ~ Thrashin' (1986)

Wild in the Streets! It's time to go boarding with one of the most popular skateboarding movies of the 20th century. Want some fun boarding and wicked cool soundtrack? Then this is the movie for you. That's right, it's 1986's Trashin'! Essentially Romeo & Juliet on skateboards, the movie is about what you expected.

Unfortunately, this is also the movie's weakness and helps it fall short of Skateboard: The Movie and Gleaming the Cube. Though it's fine, it doesn't quite stack up. Find out exactly why that is in today's episode!

Randy's Score: 3/5

JD's Score: 3/5

Spotify link here!

Up Next: The Best of Times!

Episode 21 ~ Youngblood (1986)

Our sports special runs into a not-so-oddball picture. This would be the coming-of-age drama Youngblood, which has quite the cast. And on top of it you can pretty much guess how this flick will turn out.

Unfortunately, that's also the glaring weakness of this one. Of all the sports films we've covered so far, this is the most formulaic of them by far. It might not be a bad movie, but it doesn't quite stack up either.

Find out why in today's episode!

Randy's Score: 3/5

JD's Score: 3/5

Spotify link here!

Up Next: Thrashin'!

Episode 20 ~ Vision Quest (1985)

Every now and then you catch on to not just a sort of movie they don't make anymore, but a sort of book adaption they don't do anymore. The "young adult" coming of age story of an older boy becoming a young man isn't really covered as much anymore, especially in Hollywood. In fact, it actively seems to be discourage these days.

That said, this sort of charm helps a movie like Vision Quest stand out from the pack in regards to sports movies, even at the time. Find out why that might be in today's episode of our summer sports special! 

Randy's Score: 4/5

JD's Score: 4/5

Spotify link here!

Up Next: Youngblood!

Episode 19 ~ Brewster's Millions (1985)

Finally, more Walter Hill! It's also a bizarre picture from him, being not only a comedy but a sports adjacent one. It was also the hit he needed to get back on track for the rest of the decade. On top of it, this flick has quite the cast.

That said, it's not quite perfect, but it manages a charm about it that feels so foreign to today. Might help that it's a remake of a much older movie, but there's more to this movie than just that. Check out today's movie to see why that might be the case!

Randy's Score: 3/5

JD's Score: 3/5

Spotify link here!

Up Next: Vision Quest!

Episode 18 ~ The Natural (1984)

Today's movie is a bit out of our usual wheelhouse but we decided to cover it anyway to fit in with the theme. What we didn't expect is that it still managed to connect well with the movies we went over before and after it, helping us form a pattern of the line of sports movies in cinema as the years went on. There is a lot to 1984's The Natural.

It's also a great watch, too.

So strap in for this week's episode and buckle in with this lost classic that isn't discussed anywhere near as much as it once was and still should be. It's held up extremely well over the decades and is primed to be re-discovered.

Randy's Score: 5/5

JD's Score: 5/5

Spotify link here!

Up Next: Brewster's Millions!

Episode 17 ~ BMX Bandits (1983)

We finally take a trip down under with this infamous BMX favorite! It's BMX Bandits a family comedy where the tricks are as wild as the races and chases--and boy are there a lot of those. Oh, also Nicole Kidman, I guess.

How does it hold up? You'll just have to check out today's episode and see for yourself. Suffice to say, you get exactly what's on the box!

Randy's Score: 3/5

JD's Score: 3/5

Spotify link here!

Up Next: The Natural!