Non-Cannon ~ Episode 46 - Gremlins (1984)

We're back with another in our Non-Cannon mystery special! This time we're taking a look at 1984's Gremlins. Don't feed them after midnight, don't get them wet, and don't get killed! Those are the rules in this '80s horror comedy. It's also technically a Christmas movie, though not in the way one might think. All in all, this is just one oddball movie.

I would go into more detail, but it would be like talking about Terminator. If you're here reading this then you know all about Gremlins. So be sure to listen to the episode to hear our full thoughts on one of the most iconic films of the 1980s.

Randy's Score: 4/5
JD's Score: 4/5



Up Next: Explorers!

Non-Cannon ~ Episode 45 - The Howling (1980)

We're back! It feels as if it's been ages since we put out an episode. For the next set of episodes we're going to do another special of episodes. This time there might be a theme to it. See if you can figure out just what that is. It shouldn't be too hard!

In this episode we cover the 1980 horror movie The Howling, a werewolf picture from the beginning of the decade and one of the earliest from director Joe Dante. Neither of us had ever seen it before, so what did we think?

As always, listen in to find out!

Randy's Score: 3/5
JD's Score: 3/5



Up Next: Gremlins! 

Extra Reviews

Because I watch films on my own outside of Cannon Cruisers, I thought I would share with you some of the movies I've seen over the past few years outside of the podcast that would otherwise be Cannon Cruiser episodes. Whether it is because Randy expressed no interest or because I didn't think he'd be interested, I watched these on my own.

As usual, these fall in the category of Non-Cannon episodes, but are movies that we won't be doing episodes on. That's fine because I'm not sure I could say anymore on these movies than these short spurts.

With that said let us head to the reviews.



Re-Animator (1985)

A Lovecraft movie that manages to nail both the eerie feel of a Lovecraft story, and at the same time balances comedy and horror expertly. I found it hard to believe this was as good as it was even when watching. Jeffrey Combs' performance is especially one to remember. There isn't really anything like Re-Animator, even in the horror subgenre of Frankenstein-style "Playing God" movies. Unless you have some sort of an irrational fear of zombies this is a must see movie.

JD's Score: 5/5



Tuff Turf (1985)

A modern Rebel Without a Cause-style movie. This stars James Spader as a loner who arrives at a new school to take on a gang and ends up falling in love at the same time. There were a few of these movies at the time, but Tuff Turf turns out to be one of the better attempts. The characters are memorable, the acting is good, and the soundtrack is pitch perfect. If you're looking for a tough guy movie then this definitely worth it.

JD's Score: 4/5



Night of the Creeps (1986)

In this '50s horror style romp, brain slugs take over the campus of a college and all hell breaks loose. From the director of Monster Squad, this is comedic horror take on what it's like to lose yourself to your lesser urges.Yes, that means what you think it does. The movie is a lot of fun and is very lighthearted despite the gruesomeness of what happens, and the effects are very impressive. Highly recommended for horror buffs and anyone who likes their movies weird. Because this is weird, but very unique.

JD's Score: 4/5



The Blob (1988)

A "remake" of the 1958 Steve McQueen classic, this movie has a much more depressing and dour tone than that one. It's essentially the story of modernism and how the blind pursuit of progress takes the innocent in its cross-hairs to be devoured. Everything gets crushed and no one will be spared: no matter who you are. This would usually make for a miserable experience, but coming out in the 1980s allowed incredible special effects, inventive direction, and some sharp writing to make this quite the deserved cult classic. You won't guess what happens next! I can't say enough good things about The Blob.

JD's Score: 5/5



3:15 The Moment of Truth (1986)

The best way to describe this is: Tuff Turf, but not as good. Which is a shame, because it's not bad, but could be better. It features a gang member who walks away from his gang and a year later the gang starts getting worse and starts imploding. The problem is that this is a setup that needs to focus on multiple characters and different angles, but we get none of them. There's no scope to create stakes. The main character leaving the gang would have more impact if we saw what the gang meant to him or vice versa, and why the gang came to be. But because of this overly narrow scope it is hard to get invested in the drama. It's a solid watch, but there are better in this genre.

JD's Score: 3/5



Martial Law (1990)

Aside from a goofy opener, this buddy cop action movie is just all around flat. There's drama with no impact, twists that don't mean much, and a villain who is boring. Cynthia Rothrock is in this, but she might as well not be. There's nothing for her, or anyone else, to do here. Normally I save action movies for Cannon Cruisers, since even Randy can get behind them, but there was really no point with this one. This is a movie even Cannon itself would have shelved for being too dull. And that's saying something.

JD's Score: 2/5



Deadbeat at Dawn (1988)

A movie written and directed by one man filmed over the course of years, and it doesn't show it. This is another gang movie, but it's much grittier than the above ones. Goose is a man who leaves his gang and tries to make a fresh start when his past catches up with him. This is a pure indie film that is carried by its direction, action, intensity, atmosphere, and surprisingly good effects. I'm not exaggerating when I say this is probably the most impressive movie I've ever seen, and a pure guys-night-out flick at the same time. There isn't anything out there like Deadbeat at Dawn, and that is reason enough to see this.

JD's Score: 5/5



Street Trash (1987)

I don't even know where to begin with this one. I heard about this from author J. Manfred Weichsel due to the effects, which are indeed quite amazing. The movie is about street bums (hence the title) and the discovery of a tainted alcoholic beverage which melts the insides of whoever drinks it. That is, it's supposed to be about that but then the drink disappears for a good third of the movie. There's no plot here, it's just disjointed happenings among random characters who show up then die or disappear before showing up to die later or disappear again. It's definitely a weird movie and worth it if you like disturbing movies with a lot of grime, but it just didn't hold my attention beyond seeing how the insane special effects would be used next.

JD's Score: 2/5



The Junkman (1982)

From the man behind the original Gone in 60 Seconds comes this movie of car stunts, explosions, rock n roll, and good old guy fun. This is an independent picture made all the more impressive in how explosive it is and how relentless the action remains. The back story is given with the first five minutes, then there's ten minutes of setup followed by nonstop action. It's a very 1970s movie. However, it is still very packed with no dragging in pacing. There is always something happening, and always something to keep your eyes glued on the screen. As a stunt movie it is quite a bit of fun.

JD's Score: 3/5



Class of 1984 (1982)

Sort of a take on Blackboard Jungle, but with more of a look towards the way things are going to be in a few years (and cleverly using 1984 in the title helps make the point), this is about the education system and urban and societal decay. Students rule the school and can do whatever they want, as teachers are not there to discipline or teach: they are basically there to recite the curriculum and keep their head down. Because the system neither cares for teachers nor students it ends up grinding them both down to nothing. This one ends in a confrontation with a psychotic gang of students who attack a teacher's home and end up paying the price for their deeds. It's an intense ride, and one well worth experiencing.

JD's Score: 4/5



Class of 1999 (1990)

A loose sequel to Class of 1984, this one has more a fantastical take and is seen from the student's point of view where the last was primarily from the teacher's position. In this one schools are prisons and glorified government camps made to beat the correct information into students. The teachers are inhuman (in more ways than one) and the adults have all but given up, leaving the children to fend for themselves while at the same time expected to be cogs in a machine that is breaking down. This is more of an action movie than the first and relies on some good special effects, making this a much different experience than the earlier movie. It takes some sharp turns. I would definitely recommend seeing this after the first one. They make good companion pieces even despite having so many differences with each other.

JD's Score: 4/5



Class of 1999 II (1994)

This is just a slasher movie in the Class of 1999 setting with a teacher killing students. It's silly and absolutely frothy, but it is enjoyable to watch and have a good time with. There's not a single dull moment despite how off beat it is from the first two (not having anything to do with the original writer/director is part of that), and for lovers of schlock there is a lot here. It's not close to as good as the original ones, and I would even hesitate to call it good, but it is fun. If you watched the first two you might as well watch this one. It can't hurt.

JD's Score: 3/5



I think that's enough for now!

Suffice to say there is a lot out there we can't even begin to cover with Cannon Cruisers, and this is merely a sampling of it. What do you think of these movies? Did I miss anything good? Be sure to let me know. We're always looking for stuff to cover.

That's it for this week. Next time we'll be back with season 6 and back in the thick of it with more Cannon Films goodness.

Stick around, we've got many more movies to talk about!

Why Did Cannon Fall Apart?

It's been a good while since I've done a text entry, and since we're off for two weeks I figured it was about time to write another. We can't leave you hanging too long! This time I want to talk about why Cannon died.

They were a massively influential studio with a good customer base and a place in the library for any self-respecting action film fanatic. Starting with their ownership in 1980 the Israeli cousins Golan and Globus turned a decent underground movie studio into a b-film hit factory. They kept the budgets small and made their movies quick. This resulted in some slapdash fair, especially early on, but by 1984 they were swinging for the fences. By 1987 they were rolling in the dough with this simple formula. But then a few years later they would be near broke and ready to close up shop. Just as soon as they came, they vanished.

Around 15 years of their war on mainstream Hollywood ended with a whimper.

So what happened?

We all know the financial issues that were at play in Cannon's destruction, as well as the cousins no longer getting along by the end of the '80s, but that shouldn't mean failure right off the bat. You can recover from both financial issue and frayed personal relationships. In fact, they were in operation half a decade after their biggest blunders!

So what, precisely, lead to their downfall?

If you've been keeping up with Cannon Cruisers you've noticed that 1988 was not a particularly good year for Cannon, almost reaching their previous lows of 1980. Before this season even the bad movies had a charm and spunk to them that made them enjoyable to watch. Not so much here. For 1988 we only enjoyed two movies immensely: Bloodsport and Cry in the Dark. There were a handful of decent flicks from Chuck Norris and Charles Bronson, and a passable Michael Dudikoff picture, but otherwise Cannon batted total whiffs in '88. Just looking over our lineup for season 6, tentatively covering 1989-1990, show flicks looking just as rocky, if not worse. We should find a gem or two, we always do, but we aren't feeling too hopeful looking ahead.

This, after spending 1980-1986 in ascension, and 1987 with big budget plays. Now they are on their decline which we know will not let up until they close and finish pushing out products by 1995. It feels like it happened overnight. Well, not really. It took one really bad year.

The two of us have been watching any Cannon film we could get our hands on for this project and have to date have watched 70 or so films spread across 8 years, which means we've noticed a few patterns. We have noticed their change is a lot more obvious than you'd think. The reason Cannon Films went under is because they lost their way.

In their first six years Cannon slowly built themselves up with their method of tight budgets, quick productions, and entertainment first. The first few years were them getting their ducks in a row, but by 1984 they were clicking together. They learned the balance of how to be quick, cheap, and flashy, while making movies they matched their ambitions. There wasn't any other studio like them.

By the time Missing in Action, Ninja 3: The Domination, and Breakin' 2, came out in '84 they already proved themselves to be the place to go if you wanted to have a good time. They would build that up in 1985 and 1986 with American Ninja, Invasion USA, Death Wish 3, Runaway Train, Delta Force, Cobra, Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2, 52 Pick Up, Murphy's Law, and Firewalker, proving that they knew how to cash-in on action and give the audience what they wanted. It looked like things were looking up for Cannon Films.

And it might have been. But then came the mistake known as 1987.

By the time of Delta Force, a big hit in '86, Cannon had already begun to get a big head. They starting wasting money on bad ideas, and slashing budgets on the wrong projects to prop up others, and the management started to slide. They broke all the rules that brought them to where they were.

In 1987, they began wasting a lot of money on projects that didn't return on them. Movies such as Over the Top, Masters of the Universe, and especially Superman IV: The Quest for Peace. None of these made back close to what they put into them. A lot of money was spent on projects that didn't quite warrant them, even if they do have cult appeal. I personally really like Over the Top, for instance.

At the same time, outside of American Ninja 2 and Death Wish IV, there wasn't much of Cannon's signature action this year. In fact, there were no Chuck Norris movies from Cannon in 1987! Even putting aside the bad spending, this was inexcusable.

Cannon stopped with their pattern of being the pulp masters of the B-movie world and tried to get in on being a big budget hit factory. That was a mistake. By the time 1988 rolled around they were hurting and it showed. While movies such as Bloodsport showed that old Cannon magic by using small budgets to their full effect, most of the rest felt as incompetent as early 1980 Cannon was. It was as if they had forgotten everything they learned. They were going downhill.

And we're savvy enough to realize things won't get much better from here on it.

While there are still some underrated movies to look forward in the seasons to come, we know that 1987 was more or less the end of Cannon. Their production went down, to the extent that we have to cover two years in order to get enough Cannon material for a normal Cannon Cruiser season! What we're dealing with now is the slow decay. Before the middle of the 1990s Cannon Films would be a memory.

From what I can gather there is a very clear lesson to learn in the story of Cannon Films. Stick with what got you to where you are. Success is work as much as it's chance, and relying on the latter is a good formula for failure. Cannon had both, but lost focus when it needed to have it most of all. After loosing their way they never quite managed to reclaim it again. And that is why they are gone now.

So while Cannon Films is no more, and all we have are the memories, we can still learn much from these cheesy flicks. They were made to give you a thrill, and that they still do even decades later.

I guess, if anything, we can be thankful for that!

Episode 75 - Season 05 Wrap-Up

That's another season in the bag!

Join us as we go through our recap of the previous season and discuss what we enjoyed the most over Cannon's 1988. As usual we go through what we enjoyed, and what we didn't, among this set of movies and hint at what's next to come.

Of course, as usual there will be no new episode for two weeks, but you might still find a surprise or two on this feed in the meantime. I think I'm about due for another written entry. At the same time, have a Teespring page! It's not much, with just one shirt, but it is something. It contains the logo I designed above. We just hit episode 75, so just wait until we hit 100! It's going to be great. Good times ahead.

Stay tuned as we continue our cruise through the Cannon catalog for gems and junk alike. We're not stopping any time soon!



Up Next: A Surprise!