Episode 164 - The Wicked Lady (1983)

Though this might not entirely be seasonal appropriate, it is a bit of a miracle that this turned out to not be a waste of time. Ostensibly a saucier remake of an old film about that titular wicked lady who revels in sin which slowly kills herself and those around her, there is a bit more to this picture than you might first think despite the attempt at a comical poster and image. This isn't really a sex comedy despite the image and the typical 1980s obsession with random breasts to pull people into the theaters and video store.

That said, 1983's The Wicked Lady does suffer from tonal issues and its more blue elements don't really stand the test of time in helping it as a film experience. Despite that, there is a core story that is quite good and the typical Cannon madness does help it stand out. For that reason it becomes a recommendation to the both of us.

As always, check out today's episode to understand why that might be.

Randy's Score: 3/5

JD's Score: 3/5

Up Next: Bolero!

Episode 153 - The Seven Magnificent Gladiators (1983)

Though we have covered the three typical Lou Ferrigno movies he did with Cannon, what is less spoken about is the movie later edited clumsily into the inferior sequel to Hercules. There is probably a reason for that, including the fact that The Seven Magnificent Gladiators was simply not released on a wide scale back in the day.

That said, this is the only movie Bruno Mattei did with Cannon, and in that aspect it is a bit of a disappoint. A movie made by those two should have been a lot wilder. That said, the final result is a simply a fun peplum flick--a sword and sandal version of The Seven Samurai / The Magnificent Samurai. It could have been more impressive, but as it is The Seven Magnificent Gladiators is a pleasant watch.

It could have been more than that, but the flick still works. It isn't a patch on Ferrigno's Sinbad movie, though.

Randy's Score: 3/5

JD's Score: 3/5

Up Next: The Hanoi Hilton!

Episode 129 - Sahara (1983)

One of the strangest misfires we've covered yet, 1983's Sahara is the sort of movie that should work just based on its out there description alone. Unfortunately, the actual viewing experience turned out to be one of the worst watches we've had in quite a long time. There is suspicious little in this film that works on any level.

It is a puzzle as to why it is such a turkey, as we go over this one to try and figure it out for ourselves. Nonetheless, we can safely say that is most definitely not recommended, even for the curious. Sahara was one of the least enjoyable films we've watched for Cannon Cruisers. Check out our episode to see why that might be.

Randy's Score: 1/5

JD's Score: 1/5

Up Next: Halloween Special!

Episode 115 - The Graduates of Malibu High / The Young Warriors (1983)

One of the movies we missed the first go around, The Graduates of Malibu High (or The Young Warriors) was a bizarre attempt at a genre mash-up. This was a try at stirring Death Wish and Animal House together into a gumbo of the kind that hadn't been made before. It is surprisingly ambitious.

Unfortunately, despite having many good points, it is stifled by bad pacing and incongruous genre elements that are jarring to what each half of the movie wants to be. It isn't a total loss, and deserves the cult audience it has, but we did have to dock it points for fumbling crucial elements that could have been done better with tighter editing. Nonetheless, it isn't a half bad watch. We talk about it more in depth in the above episode.

JD's Score: 2/5

Randy's Score: 2/5

Up Next: Alien Contamination!

Episode 108 - Treasure of the Four Crowns (1983)

It's been a while, but finally we are back to the Cannon mines! This time we went back all the way to 1983 to pick up one we missed along the way. That's right, it's 1983's Treasure of the Four Crowns, Cannon's only real 3D film!

Obviously inspired by a specific popular 1980 adventure flick, this one tries to balance that with the trappings of a heist film. The combination doesn't work and leads to a rather movie. Found out how that happened in the episode above!

Randy's Score: 1/5

JD's Score: 2/5

Up Next: The Apple [Revisited]!

Episode 84 - Hercules (1983)

Yes, once more we have gone back to the past. Since this season is focused on covering Cannon through 1989 and 1990 it naturally means less material to cover. Because of this, we decided to fill out holes in the schedule with movies we have missed so far. There are a few! This includes the three movies Lou Ferrigno made with Cannon. Today, we are covering 1983's Hercules, one of the films we missed during the first season.

It might be hard to believe, but we actually enjoyed this one a good deal. Despite its infamous reputation it holds together solidly and has just enough creativity ad lightheartedness that you would feel comfortable showing it to your kids or younger relatives. It isn't perfect, of course, but it holds together much better than you would think. As always, check out the episode for full impressions.

Randy's Score: 3/5

JD's Score: 3/5

Up next: Lone Wolf McQuade!

Special: "The Cannon Film Guide, Volume 1: 1980-1984" Review!

Find it Here!

Surprise! This week I wanted to do something special as we are still between seasons and recording new material. The wheels are rolling again! So I decided to record a review I made on my other blog for a project that will excite anyone who listens to Cannon Cruisers. You can find the original post I read from here. This side episode is all about The Cannon Film Guide, and then some!

Suffice to say, it's a bit long. Sorry if you like it brief!

It's a bit rambly since I'm not used to talking for so long uninterrupted, and I'm dying in a heated room in the middle of summer, so please excuse the quality. Nonetheless, I think this is a review you're going to want to hear! Anyone who has an interest in Cannon Films should look into this new book. It is exactly what you've been waiting for.

JD's rating: Recommended




Up Next: Commando!

Episode 11 - Revenge of the Ninja (1983)

Only a ninja can stop a ninja.

This is the second of Cannon's ninja anthology series (starring Sho Kosugi) and is regularly regarded as the best. And it is. The action sequences are well directed, choreographed, and over the top, the hero is as strong as the villain, and the pacing is on the money. This is the movie that signified that Cannon was about to be action movie powerhouse, and it easily stacks with their more well known fare.

Cannon waited a bit longer than usual to capitalize on the ninja craze (a rarity for them), but it was worth the wait. Revenge of the Ninja is better than the already strong Enter the Ninja in every way. It is only a shame that Cannon gave their sequels as much time and care as they did with this one. Maybe things would have turned out different for them.

Fans of '80s action movies would do well to catch up on this formerly well-known action series. It is exactly what you're hoping it is. Ninja action movies do not get better than this.

Randy's Score: 3/5
JD's Score: 4/5


Up Next: The Sword & The Sorcerer

Episode 10 - House of the Long Shadows (1983)

Now for something a bit different.

This 1983 horror comedy stars quite the cast. Vincent Price, Christopher Lee, Peter Cushing, John Carradine, and Desi Arnaz Jr star as a group in a haunted mansion which might be more than it seems. What starts as a fairly typical horror movie twists and turns as it goes along to something unique be the end.

This film doesn't have the best reputation, though that might be because of the era it was released in. This is a sort of horror movie, or horror comedy, that isn't made anymore, so there is nothing modern to compare it to. As it is, this film was a delight and is recommended for those looking for a fun Sunday afternoon film to watch alone or in a group. You will not see anything like it from the likes of modern Hollywood.

And that is why we are doing this series in the first place.

Randy's Score: 3/5
JD's Score: 3/5


Up Next: Revenge of the Ninja!

Episode 9 - 10 to Midnight (1983)

Bronson is back! This time in a thriller cat and mouse game against a killer with a soul of blackness. Detectives Leo Kessler and Paul McAnn must work fast to track him down before it's too late. But how can you catch a killer that is always one step ahead of the law? They better hurry before the next murder strikes a bit too close to home.

Part thriller and part slasher movie, there are few films that strike such a fine balance as this film does and maintains tension throughout. However, it isn't all great as we find out in the episode. But it is another winner from Charles Bronson and director J. Lee Thompson.

Be sure to listen in to hear our full thoughts.

Randy's Score: 3/5
JD's Score: 3/5


Up Next: House of the Long Shadows!