Wednesday, December 28, 2022

Thank You for Five Years!



We really started this blog back in September of 2017 on a whim. There was no expectation that we'd do anything after a couple of episodes of Cannon Cruisers but get bored and move on to something else. It is what tends to happens, after all. Nonetheless, we're still here and still making episodes after half a decade! Even now it's kind of hard to believe Cannon Cruisers is still going. It's been quite a run so far, and neither of us expected to get this far.

When Cannon Cruisers started, there wasn't much discussion online about Cannon Films as we thought there should be. You can check back around 2017 and see for yourself how barren the topic was for discussion. That is one of the advantages of internet discussion, after all. Things have changed in such a short time. Five years, apparently, makes a very big difference. Now there are entire books about Cannon Films, the company's classics (and not-so classics) are being re-released by the likes of Kino Lorber, Vinegar Syndrome, and Shout Factory, almost all the time, and there are many other podcasts and series discussing the company.

As I said, this is quite the turnaround in such a short time.

None of this was really going on back then, which should be a sign of how much things have changed, and how the cinematic landscape and the perception around the 1980s and 1990s era of filmmaking has altered. What was once seen as an ironic joke at best, has now become accepted reality. I've always maintained the true Golden Age of b-movies (and the silver age of film in general) was the mid-1970s though mid-1990s, and I hope if Cannon Cruisers has done anything, it is make a case for that being obviously true. We have covered somewhere around 250 films since we've started, not all great, not all bad, but all that highlight the era as something far different than the one we live in today and with an identity all of its own. This time period has much to offer viewers even today, a quarter of a century removed from the last new Cannon product put out on a video store shelf. Not bad for what was once since as a long running joke by Gen X hipsters!

There is a spark and spirit here that we couldn't quite understand or miss until enough time had passed and we looked into it ourselves. Now it is undeniable.

As an aside, I have the second volume of the Cannon Film Guide, but haven't bothered to do a review since there is little reason to. If you've seen my review of volume 1, it is still relevant for volume 2. There is is just more book this time to cover more films. After this release, there is only one more volume left, to cover Cannon's final films into the 1990s, and I highly recommend this series as the best source on a company that is finally getting its due. The books are not padded, either, there is simply that much information about this era that has never been properly explored before. As I said, the landscape has changed a lot over the last five years, and I couldn't be happier about it. This is explicitly the opposite of how we used to think of this period. It isn't quite so disposable, after all. Turns out we've missed quite a bit.

We're now about to go into 2023, and on the road to finishing up our eighth (!) season. There isn't much left on the Cannon front to cover after that. We're planning on wrapping up this season in a big way, and then, after that, who knows. We'll probably wind it down to periodic episodes or something of the like. Nonetheless, I think 2022 was the last year of weekly Cannon Cruisers episodes. 2023 will be when we finish off this last full season and move on. There just isn't much more material to sustain us keeping our weekly schedule, even one we haven't really deviated on since near the beginning of the series. Considering how much Cannon we've covered, I'm sure you understand.

All of that aside, I just want to repeat how thankful we are that we're still going, and that you're still listening! It's been a long road, with many episodes, on a subject we knew would be interesting but we're sure anyone wanted to join us on. Since we've started, we've definitely grown in our appreciation of both Cannon Films and the art of film in general, finding both new favorites and greater understanding of the ones we liked in the first place. It's been a ride. Thank you for giving us the opportunity to do this at all!

Even though the last few years were rough for everybody, and it looks like that might continue a bit longer, at least we still have entertainment and art to take us to that higher level above the mundanity and the down times closing in. There is always something to aim for, and even the fun and the silly movies can help remind us of that. Who knows what tomorrow holds, but at least we can make it there in the first place. Art is truly a gift.

Thank you again for five years! Please stick with us until the end. We've still got a few more tricks up our sleeve before we wrap it up! Just wait until you see what we've got coming down the pipeline. We came in swinging, and we're going to go out the same way! Not too dissimilar from Cannon Films themselves, actually.

Have a happy New Year and wonderful Christmas season! See you in 2023!


Sunday, December 25, 2022

Christmas Special (Non-Cannon ~ Episode 107)



Merry Christmas! We have a surprise special episode for you this week!

This year we decided to do something very different and for the first time also chose to talk about a movie slightly outside of our usual place. Deadly Games: Dial Code Santa Claus is a French movie, but one clearly inspired by Hollywood trends of the time, most notably b-movie Cannon style exploitation horror and action. It has a different take on the, by now, rather played out "Killer Santa" trope featuring many dualities between adulthood and childhood and what it means to grow up. What is fascinating is that it does all of this without remembering to entertain first, making it truly feel like the sort of film Cannon Cruisers would normally cover regardless.

Check out today's very special episode and you might understand why we chose to cover it. Deadly Games: Dial Code Santa Claus is of a surprising quality you might not expect from the title. It doesn't get more recommended by us than this.

And no, Home Alone did not rip this movie off. Anyone who has actually watched both movies will tell you that, vague premise similarities aside, they are completely different movies. but both are certainly worth watching.

Randy's Score: 5/5
JD's Score: 5/5



Sunday, December 18, 2022

Non-Cannon ~ Episode 106 - Memoirs of an Invisible Man (1992)



What is typically considered the black sheep of John Carpenter's filmography, Memoirs of an Invisible Man is not only not a horror movie, but despite it starring Chevy Chase, it's also not a comedy. What it is is an action thriller that is quite exciting and inventive with impressive special effects. At least, that's what the film is at it's best. When it's not it becomes an entirely different, and less interesting movie, which slows the story down.

That said, Memoirs of an Invisible Man is well worth seeing and is not a bad time by any means. It could have just used less interference to make it work. As always, be sure to give the full episode a listen to find out just how much it does (and doesn't) work.

Randy's Score: 3/5
JD's Score: 3/5



Sunday, December 11, 2022

Episode 134 - Mannequin (1987)



One of the most unique experiences we have had watching a movie, Mannequin is unique in several ways. It might seem like a simple 1980s era romcom, and it is, but there is quite an interesting story behind its production that has little to do with Cannon at all. Nonetheless, they did distribute this, and it is a good excuse to talk about a subject we might not normally get around to. It helps that there is plenty to talk about in regards to the film itself, too.

Definitely be sure to tune in to this episode if you are interested in filmmaking from the time period or the 1980s in general. There is a lot to discuss here!

JD's Score: 3/5
Randy's Score: 3/5



Sunday, December 4, 2022

Episode 133 - Ninja III: The Domination [Revisited] (1984)



Of course we would have to go through this one again. Ostensibly the weirdest movie Cannon is known for, Ninja III: The Domination also has a lot going for it as a general good time. It offers plenty for action, horror, and 1980s aficionados, in just about every aspect of its production and manages a level of unpredictability and coherence of the like only Cannon could manage. Giving it a re-watch in a new lens has given it a new appreciation in our eyes.

Though one of us might still consider Revenge of the Ninja the superior experience, it does not change the fact that there is nothing quite like Ninja III: The Domination, and there probably won't ever be again. For that alone, it has earned its place as one of Cannon's best. You are truly missing out if you have never seen this one before.

JD's Score: 5/5
Randy's Score: 5/5



Up Next: Mannequin!

Sunday, November 27, 2022

Episode 132 - The Fourth War (1989)



In this strange Frankenheimer picture, tensions between East and West in the Cold War are stoked due to a feud between two members on opposite sides and their personal beef. The Fourth War is a story that is acted and directed extremely well, but comes apart at the seams due to one important flaw. The writing is just not up to the task and lets the rest of the project down. Check out the full episode to see just why it falls a bit flat.

Despite that, the movie is worth a watch. There is more potential in the concept than is shown here, but that doesn't make it a waste of time. The Fourth War is still a fun time overall. It just could have been more than the sum of its parts.

Randy's Score: 3/5
JD's Score: 3/5



Sunday, November 20, 2022

Non-Cannon ~ Episode 105 - The Hidden (1987)



Possibly one of the most overlooked movies of one of the best periods of movies ever, The Hidden is a fantastic experience of horror, action, comedy, and everything in between. This has everything you would expect a movie about aliens creeping into Earth from the shadows should be about. From the director of the underrated Alone in the Dark comes this flick that isn't quite like anything else released at the time, even with a premise you've seen before.

Check out the above episode to see just why we loved it so much, and why you should see The Hidden as soon as possible. You will not regret it.

Randy's Score: 5/5
JD's Score: 5/5



Sunday, November 13, 2022

Episode 131 - Mercenary Fighters (1988)



One would think a 1980s action movie from Cannon Films starring Reb Brown would be a match made in Heaven. There are plenty of genre classics made that tick more than one of these boxes, so one that hits them all should work out for everyone. Unfortunately, Mercenary Fighters fumbles the ball in just about every way and manages to make this sure winner a disappointment. How this happened is anyone's guess.

It's not quite a total flop, but Mercenary Fighters misses the mark where it counts and where other Cannon movies (and Reb Brown flicks) managed to understand why people went to see these films. It's just not what it could be.

Check out the full episode to see just what we thought on this one.

Randy's Score: 2/5
JD's Score: 2/5



Up Next: The Hidden!

Sunday, November 6, 2022

Episode 130 - Lifeforce (1985) [Revisited]



We went back to the well once again to cover a film that hasn't really got a lot of attention over the years, possibly from coming out during a time that was stacked with releases. Lifeforce, however, is quite a unique movie made by some of the top talent of the time that could not have existed at any other period. It takes everything Cannon and director Tobe Hooper was known for and pushes it to the limit, ending up with a chilling horror adventure straight out of the pulps that they simply could not make today, in many ways.

A story about the evils of temptation and putting base pleasures first, Lifeforce has actually aged like fine wine and turns out to be one of the hidden gems of the 1980s. That is wasn't a hit actually feels almost insulting watching now. Despite that, it holds up as a marvel of practical effects, traditional horror storytelling, and some of the best acting from the time period. This is one that will hopefully get the attention that it deserves sooner than later.

Lifeforce turns out not to be the misfire it is unfairly pigeonholed as, but one of the most unique movies of the 1980s. Do not skip out on it.

Randy's Score: 5/5
JD's Score: 5/5



Monday, October 31, 2022

Halloween Spectacular V! (Non-Cannon - Episode 104)



Welcome back to our fifth Halloween Spectacular since starting Cannon Cruisers! It's been a long year since the last one, and we decided this time to finish off covering the big slasher franchises from the time period by tackling the Friday the 13th series for the first time since we started years ago.

The difference is that we decided not to start with the original movie, for reasons mentioned in the episode, but instead jumped ahead to what are regularly considered the best instalments of the series with Friday the 13th, Part IV and Friday the 13th, Part VI! For those who have seen them, you understand why. For those who don't, check out today's special!

The 1980s were a bizarre time in the saga of horror stories, and you'll see just why when you learn just how different these movies are from on another. For a series based around a slasher villain killing people, you would be surprised how inventive they got with it. And they did it four and six movies in, respectively.

That said, they are still straightforward slasher movies, so don't expect a Lifeforce or The Hidden out of them. Despite that, you would be surprised as to how ambitious they were with such a basic and tired premise. That makes them worth talking about today! Horror doesn't have to be pure throwaway and these simple, old franchise movies, of all things, show you how that can be the case.

Happy Halloween, and have a great All Saint's Day!



Friday the 13th, Part IV: The Final Chapter (1984)

Randy's Score: 3/5
JD's Score: 3/5



Friday the 13th, Part VI: Jason Lives! (1986)

Randy's Score: 3/5
JD's Score: 4/5




Sunday, October 30, 2022

Episode 129 - Sahara (1983)



One of the strangest misfires we've covered yet, 1983's Sahara is the sort of movie that should work just based on its out there description alone. Unfortunately, the actual viewing experience turned out to be one of the worst watches we've had in quite a long time. There is suspicious little in this film that works on any level.

It is a puzzle as to why it is such a turkey, as we go over this one to try and figure it out for ourselves. Nonetheless, we can safely say that is most definitely not recommended, even for the curious. Sahara was one of the least enjoyable films we've watched for Cannon Cruisers. Check out our episode to see why that might be.

Randy's Score: 1/5
JD's Score: 1/5



Sunday, October 23, 2022

Non-Cannon ~ Episode 103 - Extreme Prejudice (1987)



A return to the cinematic world of Walter Hill was overdue, and in this, perhaps the most overlooked film of the 1980s. Partially written by John Milius, Extreme Prejudice feels like a movie that could have been made at the time but just missed being made, except that it was. Part action, part western, part neo noir (for real, this time), this is as close to Sam Peckinpah that Walter Hill ever got. And it is as good as that sounds.

Starring such actors as Nick Nolte, Powers Boothe, Rip Torn, William Forsythe, and Clancy Brown, the movie is a high testosterone thrill-ride where the intensity starts from the word go and doesn't let up for its 100 minute screen time. Extreme Prejudice is everything you would hope a movie like this would be, and then some. All this, and it never finds a way to be unengaging. This is a film that gets everything that matters very, very right.

Check out the full review to see why we think Extreme Prejudice is a downright classic and very badly needs a reappraisal. It comes very highly recommended!

Randy's Score: 5/5
JD's Score: 5/5



Up Next: Sahara!

Sunday, October 16, 2022

Episode 128 - Gracey Quigley (1985)



Once again, we return with a strange little movie we couldn't cover the first time around. This week we look at the oddball black comedy Grace Quigley, which is a movie that has around three different cuts (!) emphasizes different aspects of the story and themes. Unfortunately, two of those have been missing since 1985, and the main star being long gone probably means we won't be seeing it anytime soon. This may seem like a strange thing to point out, however the movie itself is strange enough that more context definitely would have helped.

That said, this film is better than its reputation suggests and it oddly enough holds up pretty well overall as kind of a last gasp from a dying era of moviemaking. All in all, we do recommend Grace Quigley. As always, check the full review to see why that is.

Randy's Score: 3/5
JD's Score: 3/5



Sunday, October 9, 2022

Episode 127 - New Year's Evil (1980) [Revisited]



This week we revisited another old favorite, 1980's New Year's Evil. Much like the previous revisit, Hospital Massacre/X-Ray, this flick is one we have been thinking on off and on since our original episode on it. Just like that flick, this is a horror movie with a simple gimmick that is used throughout its entire  runtime to make it stand out from the pack. Unlike the previous movie, however, this one is much more successful in doing what it wants to doo, even if the results are still not everything they could be.

Despite that, New Year's Evil does stand out in what it wants to do, and definitely has the makings of a holiday favorite nonetheless. Even after 40 years, there is still no New Year themed chiller anywhere near as memorable as this, if there are any! Given that, and the usual Cannon weirdness, it still stands out from the crowd.

JD's Score: 3/5
Randy's Score: 3/5



Sunday, October 2, 2022

Episode 126 - Sword of the Valiant (1984)



Welcome back! Today we return with another Cannon favorite that we had somehow missed the first time around. This time it is the 1984 Arthurian favorite, Sword of the Valiant, an adaption of Sir Gawain and the Green Knight, a weird attempt by Golan and Globus to essentially remake a film that had already been made by the same director!

It is hard to describe what makes this one so infamous as our experience with it is that it merely falls short of its goals, but overall it is a competent picture. Cannon has certainly made worse but they have also made better. Nonetheless, there is not a whole lot about this that is very expected or likely coming from Cannon, or anyone else, in the 1980s.

To understand what that means, check out today's episode above. This isn't the easiest movie to describe, and you'll see why.

Randy's Score: 2/5
JD's Score: 3/5



Sunday, September 25, 2022

Non-Cannon ~ Episode 102 - Double Impact (1991)



Finally, we find ourselves covering another Van Damme favorite, this time the apparently "gimmicky" Double Impact from 1991! In this one, JCVD plays our duel lead characters from different sides of the track who must come together to avenge their parents' deaths. It's fairly standard stuff overall, but the execution keeps it engaging until the end.

All in all, it's probably not Van Damme's best work, but it's a good time and quite the bridge between his earlier more low budget Cannon-era work and the more high budget blockbuster fare he would be making throughout the rest of the '90s. Check out the episode to hear our full thoughts. Double Impact not a stunner, but it sure is some good fun.

Randy's Score: 3/5
JD's Score: 4/5



Sunday, September 18, 2022

Episode 125 - The Company of Wolves (1985)



Today we cover a weird movie that we tried to go over before but couldn't for various reasons. That would be this strange horror-ish fever dream, The Company of Wolves, which is basically a take on the old Little Red Riding Hood fairy tale only with a slightly modern twist. That, and some really impressive mid-80s effects and set design.

The original themes of the old fairy tale are fairly obvious, but this one attempts to make them more modern for the (then modern) year of 1985. Does it succeed? In some ways, but in others it feels confused. Nonetheless, it is definitely one worth talking about. As always, check out the episode above to hear our full thoughts on this one.

You might be surprised.

Randy's Score: 3/5
JD's Score: 3/5



Sunday, September 11, 2022

Episode 124 - Breakin' 2: Electric Boogaloo (1984) [Revisited]



Once again we take a fresh look at a movie we don't think we covered very well at the beginning of our run. That would be the sequel to the megahit Breakin' from 1984! We originally saw this in abysmal quality and it quite affected our enjoyment of it.

However, watching it with fresh eyes, years separated from our first episode on it shows how much we missed on that viewing. Check the episode to see exactly how our thoughts have shifted since, and why we now highly recommend Breakin' 2: Electric Boogaloo more than we even do the original film! It's more enjoyable than you think!

Randy's Score: 4/5
JD's Score: 4/5



Sunday, September 4, 2022

Episode 123 - Love Streams (1984)



Today we discuss a film we tried to cover once before but failed to. This would be one from famous actor and director John Cassavetes in his lone Cannon joint. In fact, this was his last proper movie released before his untimely death from cancer a few years later. There was another movie with his name on it after Love Streams, but it was ultimately butchered. In this one, Cannon gave him free reign to do what he wanted, and he took full advantage of the opportunity they gave him.

We've covered a handful of films like this on Cannon Cruisers. Cannon wasn't known for releasing these heavier cinematic pictures, but they did put out some great ones such as Runaway Train, Duet for One, Barfly, and A Cry in the Dark, all of which are worth seeing. However, Love Streams might be the best one of them all, and a film unlike anything that could be made today.

Discussing it here is pointless except to say that John Cassavetes wrote and directed a movie about love, in all its forms, and how it can both sustain and change us in ways that we might never suspect. It is quite possibly a perfect film, and you will need to watch the episode above to understand the full context. Love Streams is definitely one of Cannon's greatest films, no question about it.

Randy's Score: 5/5
JD's Score: 5/5



Up Next: Breakin' 2!

Sunday, August 28, 2022

Non-Cannon ~ Episode 101 - Cyborg Cop (1993)



Today we decided to take a look at one of Cannon Cruiser favorite, Sam Firstenberg's final action movies. This was made around the time of Cannon's collapse, which means it is not officially a Cannon movie despite having all the hallmarks of one. Even though watching it you would be hard pressed to not appreciate it for what Cyborg Cop is.

There isn't really much to say beyond it being clearly an early '90s direct to video actioner, but it carries all the same flair and fun of a small budget Cannon picture which makes it worth talking as we cover the movies we have missed from them. There isn't much left from Sam Firstenberg to cover otherwise, so it was nice to watch this one.

Despite our negatives, it is definitely worth seeing if you are a Cannon aficionado.

Randy's Score: 2/5
JD's Score: 3/5



Up Next: Love Streams!

Sunday, August 21, 2022

Episode 122 - Body and Soul (1981)



Here is another flick we missed out on during our original season. Body and Soul is a remake of an older movie, but unlike the usual Cannon remake, it doesn't feel modernized for its era. It somehow manages to feel like an older film in a lot of ways.

That said, it's fairly predictable and not the most exciting film. Body and Soul is not a hotblooded action movie or an intensely dramatic tearjerker, it's just a fairly competent Cannon film from the era where they were still getting their bearings. Despite all of that, it is a surprisingly fun movie worth seeing if you're into this kind of thing.

Check the full review to see just how it hangs with other Cannon movies from this era. We were glad with the final result, if not blown away.

Randy's Score: 3/5
JD's Score: 3/5



Up Next: Cyborg Cop!

Sunday, August 14, 2022

Episode 121 - X-Ray (1981) [Revisited]



In case you are confused by the title, 1981's Hospital Massacre went by many monikers over the years. The title of the version we watched for this episode was titled X-Ray, even though it is the exact same movie.

For our watch along this time we were able to get more into the surreal aspect of the concept and the out there sense of humor. While the film still has clear faults (which you can hear about in the episode) the overall experience is much improved and we were much more able to get into it. This one might not be a classic, but it is quite a trip and worth watching if you dig the horror genre. There is nothing else quite like it--something Cannon was quite good at pulling off.

As a whole, we are definitely glad we re-watched this one!

Randy's Score: 3/5
JD's Score: 3/5



Sunday, August 7, 2022

Episode 120 - Barfly (1987)



Cannon is back! Summer might not be over, but we've decided to go back to the grind with more flicks we missed in the first seven seasons. Today, it's Barfly from 1987, a movie that seems incapable of having a proper physical release in the region it was made.

From Charles Bukowski comes a small slice in the life of a poet going nowhere in the city of broken dreams. We follow Mickey Rourke in one of his most interesting performances as he meets Faye Dunaway and things seem to change for him. Or do they?

Barfly was one of Cannon's most critically acclaimed hits at the time it released, but does it hold up? Check out today's return episode to see!

Randy's Score: 4/5
JD's Score: 4/5



Sunday, July 31, 2022

Summer Special #40 - Brainscan (1994) [Non-Cannon ~ Episode 100]



For the last episode of our special we thought we would look at something a bit different. This time we dove into the cult favorite, Brainscan, from 1994. This is a horror thriller about a teenager playing a video game that seems to invade his real life. Or does it?

Unfortunately, it doesn't quite do enough for us. We go why in the episode above. It nonetheless remains a good watch, but it was missing something to completely satisfy. We discuss what that is in the episode above.

That's it for out summer special, and thank you for helping us get to 100 Non-Cannon episodes! It's been quite the ride to get here. We still have some curve balls ahead of us. Nonetheless, have a great summer and we'll see you again next week!

Randy's Score: 2/5
JD's Score: 2/5



Up Next: Barfly!

Sunday, July 24, 2022

Summer Special #39 - Joysticks (1983) [Non-Cannon ~ Episode 99]



Bet you didn't expect this one. For this summer special we scanned high and low for films in this ballpark, and you would be surprised at just how uncommon they were. This one turned out to have little to do with our topic aside from trace bits, and yet those exact small parts turned out to be the best parts of it. That said, Joysticks is pretty typical of an earlier type of comedy, and not one we tend to cover here because we have little to say about it.

Suffice to say, if you see the poster then you pretty much can guess the entire plot before the movie even begins. However, you will not be able to imagine the amazing music, which is some of the best of its era. If you're a gamer, you really should hear it at least once. There isn't much else like it. The rest, not so much. Check out the episode above to learn why!

Randy's Score: 2/5
JD's Score: 2/5



Up Next: Brainscan!

Sunday, July 17, 2022

Summer Special #38 - Arcade (1994) [Non-Cannon ~ Episode 98]



This time we went obscure again with one of our favorite directors to cover on Cannon Cruisers, Albert Pyun. This is his 1994 (1993, if you're German) horror movie Arcade. Of all the ones of his we've covered so far, it is probably the most obscure, though not the worst.

Stop me if you've heard this one before. A video game comes to life and starts attacking the people who play it, dragging them into its depths where our main character has to go in to save them. The makers of this one even got sued by Disney over similarities to Tron at one point, which meant they had to redo all of the early CG. And make no mistake--it's early CG.

That said, the film doesn't quite live up to its potential and makes some oddball turns that don't quite work. Check out today's episode to learn exactly why that is. You could do worse than Arcade, but you also could do much better.

Randy's Score: 2/5
JD's Score: 2/5



Up Next: Joysticks!

Sunday, July 10, 2022

Summer Special #37 - Mortal Kombat (1995) [Non-Cannon ~ Episode 97]



Chances are that you saw this one coming! Today we are covering possibly the most beloved video game movie adaption with 1995's Mortal Kombat. It is quite amazing how well this one holds up despite how much revisionism has tried to tear it down over the years. As far as adaptions go, this is still one of the best.

What has made this one stand the test of time is how much the production crew clearly loved and strove to adapt the source material as closely as it could. As such, with the Street Fighter II animated movie, it remains one of the most game accurate and exciting adaptions that was intensely influential upon its source material as well as remained a fan favorite to this day. And, believe it or not, it has managed to age in reverse, being one of the few that embraced its 1980s genre roots to the fullest. It truly doesn't get better than this.

We talk about why in today's episode. Mortal Kombat holds up better than you remember it does.

Randy's Score: 4/5
JD's Score: 5/5



Up Next: Arcade!

Sunday, July 3, 2022

Summer Special #36 - WarGames (1983) [Non-Cannon ~ Episode 96]



This week we decided on a bit of a curveball with the 1983 favorite, WarGames. Endlessly parodied and given constant tribute to this day, this is one of the earliest examples of a pure video game focused film, though not in a way you might figure, and definitely not in a way that could be made now. Essentially of it's time, but remaining rather timeless despite it, WarGames remains a fascinating movie that is a joy to watch.

This would normally be the part where we mention its deficiencies, but that is a lot harder than you might think. It is a very well put together film, even now, that holds up even if you want to watch it separate from the subject matter. Despite how often it has been referenced and parodied, WarGames holds up, and remains an enjoyable watch to this day.

Randy's Score: 4/5
JD's Score: 4/5



Sunday, June 26, 2022

Summer Special #35 - Street Fighter: The Movie (1994) [Non-Cannon ~ Episode 95]



Here we come to something you might not have seen coming: the very first live action Street Fighter movie! This film is infamous in a lot of way, but does it really deserve its reputation? We dive into it in this edition of our summer special.

The truth of the matter is that these were the early days of video game adaptions from a much different time than the one we live in today. Keeping that in mind, you might be surprised just how well it holds up. This isn't one of Van Damme or Raul Julia's best movies, but it does do its job quite well. Listen to today's episode to see just how that is.

Randy's Score: 3/5
JD' Score: 3/5



Up Next: WarGames!

Sunday, June 19, 2022

Summer Special #34 - The Last Starfighter (1984) [Non-Cannon ~ Episode 94]



This one has been a long time coming. We decided to finally watch a film we had been wanting to get around to for a while but just never had the opportunity to. That's right, it's 1984's left-field classic, The Last Starfighter.

Possibly one of the most ripped off movies of the 1980s, The Last Starfighter nonetheless remains fresh and exciting as a watch today, thought it isn't quite perfect. We talk just what makes it hold up so well in today's summer special episode! There is a very good reason why this can never be remade or copied in a way that improves upon the original.

Randy's Score: 3/5
JD's Score: 3/5



Sunday, June 12, 2022

Summer Special #33 - Super Mario Bros. (1993) [Non-Cannon ~ Episode 93]



Bet you didn't see this one coming! Today we look at the infamous first ever direct adaption of a video game into a movie with Super Mario Bros. from 1993! This is one we've wanted to cover for a long time, and now is the moment of truth.

Much like Double Dragon, however, much of its weakness comes from the fact that the adaption changes much of the source material. Unlike, Double Dragon, however, the changes are actually interesting and make for a unique viewing experience. Super Mario Bros., at times, nails the Double Dragon feel better than said movie even did. This film isn't fantastic, but it's actually better than you might remember it being, You also would never see anything this ambitious come out of Hollywood today. For that, we think it should be given a proper chance.

As always, catch the episode to see what we mean. I definitely have a new appreciation for this one now.

Randy's Score: 3/5
JD's Score: 3/5



Sunday, June 5, 2022

Summer Special #32 - The Wizard (1984) [Non-Cannon ~ Episode 92]



Here is one we've wanted to cover for awhile now. The Wizard is fairly popular among Gen Y kids and more known as a joke among Millennials, but there is more to it than you might think. We decided to look into this one just to see how good the movie is beyond the nostalgia and the endlessly repeated jokes. Does it hold up? You might be surprised.

That said, it's no flawless masterpiece. Check the episode to see just how it has aged and if it is worth seeing today with your own kids or younger relatives.

Randy's Score: 3/5
JD's Score: 3/5



Sunday, May 29, 2022

Summer Special #31 - Double Dragon (1994) [Non-Cannon ~ Episode 91]



It's that time of year again! Yes, we've decided to do another summer special, only a bit earlier this year. Why not? You have to shake it up every now and then.

Today we decided to start our special with an adaption of an old video game that is somewhat infamous. Is it as bad as you remember, or is it worse? The answer might surprise you. Nonetheless, there is a reason we chose this as our first summer episode. Check it out and see if you can guess why exactly that might be! Have a happy early summer.

Randy's Score: 3/5
JD's Score: 2/5



Up Next: The Wizard!

Sunday, May 22, 2022

Non-Cannon ~ Episode 90 - Repo Man (1984)



In the spirit of Cannon Cruisers, we once again decided to watch a cult film not too dissimilar from what Cannon themselves put out. This would be the oddball comedy, Repo Man, ostensibly about a young punk who falls into a shady business, but then becomes about identity, right and wrong, and even aliens. Yes, aliens. One has to see it to believe it.

Despite how off the rails such a thing could get (and has, in other films we've covered) Repo Man stays the course with its surreal and dark humor balancing against its awkward heart, making it a unique picture that we quite enjoyed. As always, check out the episode above to see our full thoughts in regards to this lesser known gem.

Randy's Score: 4/5
JD's Score: 4/5



Sunday, May 15, 2022

Episode 119 - Journey to the Center of the Earth (1988) [Revisited]



It's back, one of the worst films we've ever watched. This time we decided to go over it with fresh eyes, much like we did with its prequel, Alien from LA, to see if it there is a possibility we were too harsh on it. After all, our opinions have changed on just about every film we decided to re-watch so far this season. Certainly the same would happen here?

Well, no, not at all. Journey to the Center of the Earth still gets just about every filmmaking rule wrong, it's still nonsensical, and it still isn't satisfying to watch. The only difference, it seems, is if you can get passed all of that to find something to enjoy here. However, one thing remains inarguable despite everything: this movie is still easily one of the worst things Cannon has ever put out. Watch it at your own risk.

Check out the episode above as we look for more reasons to skip this one. You can definitely do much better than Journey to the Center of the Earth.

Randy's Score: 2/5
JD's Score: 1/5



Up Next: Repo Man!

Sunday, May 8, 2022

Episode 118 - Under Cover (1987)



Cannon released quite a few thrillers back in the day. Some of these thrillers were baffling (Down Twisted), off the rails (Tough Guys Don't Dance), or even quite great (A Cry in the Dark), but they always managed to have more character than the basic genre film of the time. Even the recent Naked Face that we covered did as much.

However, Under Cover is not one of those. It's competently made and shot, with competent acting, and competent storytelling, but it manages to not feel very Cannon-like at all. Instead it feels like completely interchangeable. How do you do this with a concept like 21 Jump Street in a Cannon production? See how in today's episode.

Randy's Score: 2/5
JD's Score: 2/5



Sunday, May 1, 2022

Episode 117 - The Naked Face (1984)



No, this isn't a repeat episode. The Naked Cage was a similarly titled movie with a much different plot to it. This week we take a look at Roger Moore's The Naked Face, a twisting thriller about a man having his life pulled apart by psychopaths and needing to find the truth.

Unlike some of the other thrillers we've covered from Cannon, this one does a good job of keeping you on your toes and has turns that make sense. It also features quite good performances from all the actors involved. It might have a few too many lazy logic moments, but it's never dull. That is what made it fun to watch for this episode. 

Excuse my cough, however. I was having some bad allergy reactions around the time this was recorded.

Randy's Score: 3/5
JD's Score: 3/5



Up Next: Under Cover!

Sunday, April 24, 2022

Non-Cannon ~ Episode 89 - Samurai Cop (1991)



Here is one of the big ones! We decided to watch the early '90s b-movie cult favorite Samurai Cop, one of the most bizarre low budget action movies ever made. For those that know exactly why this one is so weird, well, you know what to expect from this. For those who have no idea what you're in for? Be wary when watching today's episode. It doesn't get more offbeat than this.

That said, it's no Miami Connection. There are quite a lot of off-kilter moments in this that detract from the action instead of contribute. To see just what that means, I recommend tuning in to today's episode. There isn't much like Samurai Cop. That is both a good thing and a bad thing, for many, many, many, reasons.

Also, please note that I had a bit of a cough in this episode. I apologize for any annoyance that might cause. It wasn't the best weather to record this one in.

Randy's Score: 2/5
JD's Score: 3/5



Sunday, April 17, 2022

Episode 116 - Alien Contamination (1980)



An early Cannon horror movie we were unable to cover until recently, Alien Contamination (or just "Contamination" depending on where you live) was in many ways the last hurrah of an older breed of creepy adventure flick. It's much different than the more 1980s flavor that even early stabs of the genre like Schizoid, New Year's Evil, and Hospital Massacre / X-Ray, were. To be honest, this does help it stand out a little more, especially in the chilling early scenes.

Despite the Italian led direction and effects, the film is much too slow for its own good, lingering too long on things it doesn't need to. When it works it works, but as a whole its a bit too ropey and inconsistent to be a successful experiment.

Nonetheless, it remains an interesting try at an early attempt in the genre for Cannon Films. They didn't make anything else remotely like it.

JD's Score: 2/5
Randy's Score: 2/5



Up Next: Samurai Cop!

Sunday, April 10, 2022

Episode 115 - The Graduates of Malibu High / The Young Warriors (1983)



One of the movies we missed the first go around, The Graduates of Malibu High (or The Young Warriors) was a bizarre attempt at a genre mash-up. This was a try at stirring Death Wish and Animal House together into a gumbo of the kind that hadn't been made before. It is surprisingly ambitious.

Unfortunately, despite having many good points, it is stifled by bad pacing and incongruous genre elements that are jarring to what each half of the movie wants to be. It isn't a total loss, and deserves the cult audience it has, but we did have to dock it points for fumbling crucial elements that could have been done better with tighter editing. Nonetheless, it isn't a half bad watch. We talk about it more in depth in the above episode.

JD's Score: 2/5
Randy's Score: 2/5



Sunday, April 3, 2022

Episode 114 - Alien from L.A. (1988) [Revisited]



We are back once again with another re-watch of an old Cannon flick. This time we decided to pick the 1988 subterranean comedy, Alien from L.A., straight from Albert Pyun.

This one is more than a bit infamous as we covered in the last episode on it. However, watching it now has changed our opinions on it a good deal. What was once one of the worst has actually turned out to be a lot more fun and lot less obnoxious than we remember. Perhaps time heals all wounds, but it really is better the second time around.

Find out how in today's episode!

JD's Score: 3/5
Randy's Score: 3/5



Sunday, March 27, 2022

Non-Cannon ~ Episode 88 - Tammy & the T-Rex (1994)



Now here is a movie we had trouble defining. It's a bizarre comedy and horror mash-up filmed in a short period, giving you exactly the problems with the movie that you'd think. From tonal issues to baffling plot turns, Tammy & the T-Rex has it all.

There is also not quite anything like it. For a movie that could only be made in the early '90s, it fulfills a lot of the tropes you'd expect it would. Despite everything, it somehow manages to remain engaging the entire way through.

Our full opinions can be heard in the episode above!

Randy's Score: 3/5
JD's Score: 3/5



Sunday, March 20, 2022

Episode 113 - Dangerously Close (1986)



Once again we went back to cover a movie we missed the first time. In this case it is Cannon Cruisers favorite Albert Pyun, and his third film Dangerously Close. This one is about a school "neighborhood watch" type group going a bit mad with power.

This one is a bit different from the usual Pyun fare, being oddly coherent and down to earth. However, this also keeps it from having that weird factor a lot of his other films do. Despite that, it's not a bad watch. Just not the most memorable movie.

Randy's Score: 2/5
JD's Score: 3/5



Sunday, March 13, 2022

Episode 112 - Death Warrant (1990)



You might be doing a double take at the inclusion of this film. Wasn't Death Warrant an MGM film? Well, actually, not really. Originally titled Dusted, this movie was made by Cannon Films but held up due to the company going bankrupt at the time. Though it was released by MGM, it is actually a Cannon movie.

That said, it's not quite what you'd expect from a Van Damme flick, being more of an eerie and surreal prison movie with spikes of action here and there. Eventually, however, Death Warrant culminates in a finale worthy of both Van Damme and Cannon. You definitely won't find another movie quite like it in either of their oeuvres.

Randy's Score: 3/5
JD's Score: 4/5



Sunday, March 6, 2022

Episode 111 - The Naked Cage (1986)



Here's an obscure one we missed from 1986. It's the women prison movie, The Naked Cage. This is more or less what you expect, except with a bit of a Cannon edge to it. If you've watched any of their action or horror movies, I think you know where this is going.

That said, it isn't quite manic enough to impress, despite enough going for it to drag it out of pure middle of the road entertainment. Hard to fully recommend, but it does hold together as a story. If even just barely.

Randy's Score: 3/5
JD's Score: 3/5



Sunday, February 27, 2022

Non-Cannon ~ Episode 87 - Hell Comes to Frogtown (1988)



It's time to get weird. Today we decided to watch a strange one. The obscure, but getting better known by the day, Hell Comes to Frogtown starring Rowdy Roddy Piper, a movie that shouldn't work at all. And yet it does.

Essentially part comedy, part throwback, and part action movie inspired by Mad Max and Escape from New York, this is a bizarre movie that manages to work very well despite all the odd parts at play. It might drag a little in the first half, but overall there isn't quite anything like this one. Check out the episode above to see how that is the case.

Randy's Score: 3/5
JD's Score: 3/5



Sunday, February 20, 2022

Episode 110 - Tough Guys Don't Dance (1987)



Finally, we are able to comment on this bizarre neo-noir black comedy by writer, director, and screenwriter, Norman Mailer. Trust us, it's been a long time coming.

What is there to say about this one that hasn't been said a million times? Bizarre, surreal, bad, backwards, and non-sensical, it still manages to have something compelling to the proceedings that you won't find anywhere else, not even from Cannon Films.

But to say more about this strange movie would be spoiling the experience. Check out the episode above to see just what makes this movie tick. One thing is definitely for sure: it's one of a kind. There is nothing as upside down as Tough Guys Don't Dance.

Randy's Score: 3/5
JD's Score: 3/5



Sunday, February 13, 2022

Episode 109 - The Apple (1980) [Revisited]



We said this season would be a little different! Turns out we decided to rewatch one of our earliest covered films since we now have more perspective to cover it. That's right, we gave another look to 1980's infamous musical The Apple!

What exactly changed in our opinion from last time? You'll have to give the episode a listen to find out, but you would be surprised. There is quite a lot to discuss in this film as it is, and we go over all we can. Turns out there might be more to it than we originally thought.

But at the end of the day, it's still The Apple. That hasn't changed!

Randy's Score: 2/5
JD's Score: 2/5