Episode 158 - Schizoid (1980) [Revisited]

We finally made it! This is the final normal episode of Cannon Cruisers. To celebrate this momentous occasion, we decided to cover the very first movie we talked about once more. That's right, it's time for Schizoid again!

That said, there isn't much else to add. The movie is still kind of a mess and doesn't really hold up. Check out the episode to see why that might be the case!

Randy's Score: 2/5

JD's Score: 2/5

Up Next: Cyborg Cop 2!

Episode 139 - Dr. Heckyl & Mr. Hype (1980) [Revisited]

Keeping up with our habit of re-watching movies from early Cannon Cruisers episodes, we finally dove into the subject of our second episode from over five years ago! That's right, it's time for a look back on Dr. Heckyl & Mr. Hype from 1980!

Unfortunately, it has not stood the test of time. Even though we weren't fans of it the first time around, another viewing has not helped it to stand up better. In fact, it is even worse. Check out the episode to understand why.

All around a misfire, we simply can't recommend this under any circumstance. Oddly enough, we still ended up giving it the same ratings as the first go around. Weird how that works. Regardless, this one simply does not work.

Randy's Score: 1/5

JD's Score: 2/5

Up Next: A Man Called Sarge!

Episode 135 - Seed of Innocence (1980)

This time we managed to find one of Cannon's earliest movies, and one of the hardest to find, and finally manage to give it a watch. It's a bit out of joint for their usual fair, at least to a certain point. We explain what that means in the episode.

It's not quite what you expect from Cannon, but at the same time it kind of is. You'll see. Nonetheless, it manages to be a decent watch overall.

Randy's Score: 3/5

JD's Score: 3/5

Up Next: Number One with a Bullet [Revisited]!

Episode 127 - New Year's Evil (1980) [Revisited]

This week we revisited another old favorite, 1980's New Year's Evil. Much like the previous revisit, Hospital Massacre/X-Ray, this flick is one we have been thinking on off and on since our original episode on it. Just like that flick, this is a horror movie with a simple gimmick that is used throughout its entire  runtime to make it stand out from the pack. Unlike the previous movie, however, this one is much more successful in doing what it wants to doo, even if the results are still not everything they could be.

Despite that, New Year's Evil does stand out in what it wants to do, and definitely has the makings of a holiday favorite nonetheless. Even after 40 years, there is still no New Year themed chiller anywhere near as memorable as this, if there are any! Given that, and the usual Cannon weirdness, it still stands out from the crowd.

JD's Score: 3/5

Randy's Score: 3/5

Up Next: Grace Quigley!

Episode 116 - Alien Contamination (1980)

An early Cannon horror movie we were unable to cover until recently, Alien Contamination (or just "Contamination" depending on where you live) was in many ways the last hurrah of an older breed of creepy adventure flick. It's much different than the more 1980s flavor that even early stabs of the genre like Schizoid, New Year's Evil, and Hospital Massacre / X-Ray, were. To be honest, this does help it stand out a little more, especially in the chilling early scenes.

Despite the Italian led direction and effects, the film is much too slow for its own good, lingering too long on things it doesn't need to. When it works it works, but as a whole its a bit too ropey and inconsistent to be a successful experiment.

Nonetheless, it remains an interesting try at an early attempt in the genre for Cannon Films. They didn't make anything else remotely like it.

JD's Score: 2/5

Randy's Score: 2/5

Up Next: Samurai Cop!

Episode 109 - The Apple (1980) [Revisited]

We said this season would be a little different! Turns out we decided to rewatch one of our earliest covered films since we now have more perspective to cover it. That's right, we gave another look to 1980's infamous musical The Apple!

What exactly changed in our opinion from last time? You'll have to give the episode a listen to find out, but you would be surprised. There is quite a lot to discuss in this film as it is, and we go over all we can. Turns out there might be more to it than we originally thought.

But at the end of the day, it's still The Apple. That hasn't changed!

Randy's Score: 2/5

JD's Score: 2/5

Up Next: Tough Guys Don't Dance!

Special: "The Cannon Film Guide, Volume 1: 1980-1984" Review!

Find it Here!

Surprise! This week I wanted to do something special as we are still between seasons and recording new material. The wheels are rolling again! So I decided to record a review I made on my other blog for a project that will excite anyone who listens to Cannon Cruisers. You can find the original post I read from here. This side episode is all about The Cannon Film Guide, and then some!

Suffice to say, it's a bit long. Sorry if you like it brief!

It's a bit rambly since I'm not used to talking for so long uninterrupted, and I'm dying in a heated room in the middle of summer, so please excuse the quality. Nonetheless, I think this is a review you're going to want to hear! Anyone who has an interest in Cannon Films should look into this new book. It is exactly what you've been waiting for.

JD's rating: Recommended




Up Next: Commando!

Episode 4 - The Apple (1980)

After an unexpected delay, today we bring you our review of The Apple directed and written by Menahem Golan.

This film is a story about two new arrivals from the country who sign a deal with a totalitarian record label and end up absorbed into the tortured world of the music industry. We start as the begin their career at their first performance and end at the rapture as they are brought to heaven in a Rolls Royce. Yes, the movie is a (very) loose adaption of The Book of Genesis with songs written by someone you wouldn't expect.

If you haven't surmised by now, this film is awful. It is not awful on the same level as anything we have reviewed so far: those movies were competent and just not made very well. This was flawed on every level from conception to execution to acting to pacing to music and to the basic level of simple storytelling. The other movies were just bad films-- The Apple is legitimately one of the worst movies ever made. Listen to the full review to hear why.

Randy's Score: 1/5
JD's Score: 1/5


Up Next: Enter the Ninja

Episode 3 - New Year's Evil (1980)

*Due to unforeseen difficulties, The Apple will be delayed until next week. We apologize for the delay, but we will do an episode on it.*

This week we tackle a slasher film directed by Emmett Alston and screenplay by Leonard Neubauer entitled New Year's Evil. The story takes place on a New Year's Eve concert hosted by new wave/punk icon Blaze as she puts on a late night countdown celebration. Meanwhile, a murderer strikes and gives her a call afterwards. It seems he will kill a new victim every hour on the hour at the stroke of midnight as he travels through time zones to get to her. She will be the final victim.

Despite that convoluted explanation, this is a very simple movie. The killer is no mystery, the characters are completely flat, and the plot is nonsensical. For a slasher movies, the kills were terrible, and the suspense was entirely missing.

New Year's Evil is a slasher like Schizoid, but shares none of the earlier film's charm, attempts at characterization, or even a bit of ambition. This was easily the worst film we've reviewed so far.

Randy's Score: 1/5
JD's score: 1/5


Up next: The Apple (For real this time!)

Episode 2 - Dr Heckyl and Mr Hype (1980)

Sorry for the small delay. Randy got a bit sick so we didn't get posted in time. We'll try to be better about this in the future.

Anyway, Dr Heckyl and Mr Hype is a film written and directed by Charles B. Griffith released in 1980. It was a comedic take on Dr Jekyll and My Hyde starring Oliver Reed in the lead role who had previously played the character before. The main difference comes in the fact that this is a reversal of the roles from the original Robert Louis Stevenson tale.

The movie was, like Schizoid, written, produced, and directed in a pulp speed fashion, and like that movie it suffers for it. But it also isn't without merit. The last twenty minutes are ludicrous and would have benefited from the entire movie being like it, and there were a few standout jokes and performances: especially that of Oliver Reed in the title role.

But, at the end of the day, Cannon had not yet hit their groove yet. It would take a few more films to get there.

Randy's score: 1/5
JD's score: 2/5


Up next: New Year's Evil (The Apple was delayed one week)

Episode 1 - Schizoid (1980)

Schizoid, also known as Murder by Mail, is a horror film directed and written by David Paulsen. It was released on September 3rd in 1980, exactly 37 years ago to this date. We tried to time the release of this episode to commemorate its original release date.

If you wish to hear our full opinions on the movie, you can watch the episode above. Needless to say, it was an admirable attempt at a slasher film before the boom happened, angling itself more as a thriller than a mindless gore fest. There was actually more nudity than violence. The cast, especially Christopher Lloyd, was fairly well chosen for their roles, and especially given the tight deadline Cannon afforded David Paulsen to write and direct it.

For a first episode in this series, it ended up being a perfect starter in seeing both Cannon and many others in the beginnings of their "pulp speed" formula in getting films written, produced, and released, as quickly as possible. By that metric, it succeeds in all it wanted to do.

However, all in all, neither of us wound up enjoying it. As a slasher movie the kills were not very exciting, and as a thriller the mystery needed more mystique. As a film there's nothing technically wrong with it, but the writing could have used more time in the oven.

Randy's score: 1/5
JD's score: 2/5


Up next: Dr. Heckyl and Mr. Hype